The Phil Gould thing?
So many points, so little time.
The first one is: I TOLD yers! And I really did, in this very space. Back in April, when the whole Lachlan Galvin imbroglio blew up at the Tigers, Gould very publicly said: “We are not involved in the Lachlan Galvin discussion and we won’t be involved in the Lachlan Galvin discussion. We wish him all the best.”
I reported those words in TFF, but added, “Maybe. But with that promise and $5, I could get a cappuccino.” My point was that when it comes to masterful Machiavellian manoeuvring, Gould’s entire track record is reminiscent of what an Australian expat once said to me as we approached a roundabout in Port Moresby, and he was talking about how things were different up there.
“You see that truck with its left blinker on?” he said. “What do you think that means?”
“It’s going to turn left?”
“No.”
“It’s going to turn right?”
“No.”
The truck sailed through, straight ahead, right in front of us.
“It means, it’s got its left blinker on.”
Bulldogs general manager Phil Gould.Credit: Nick Moir
Thus, when Gould said that, it was of mild note, perhaps, but it was Gould, and there is a track record of what he says about his own club’s machinations not having a whole lot to do with what eventually happens.
Remember back in 2022?
“Trent Barrett will be the coach of the Bulldogs long after I’m gone,” he said.
Two weeks later, Barrett was gone. In similar fashion, he said Anthony Griffin’s job at Penrith was safe – just before he was let go, too.
Lachlan Galvin is off to the Bulldogs.Credit: Getty Images
Last year, Gould made flat-out denials that the Bulldogs had any interest in the Knights forward Leo Thompson, shortly before Kiwi international signed a four-year deal.
Last year, Gould also denied reports in the media that Sitili Tupouniua had been signed by the club, but wouldn’t you know it – just a week later, a four-year deal was confirmed.
Then there are the “secret meetings”, where over the years Gould has shown up in grainy photos confirming his meetings with this player or that agent – it always being a matter of curiosity to me that such secret meetings have been held in public places. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear that, for reasons of his own, Gould wanted those meetings known, as if, you know, he was a master media manipulator.
All of that is why I didn’t take Gould seriously when he said in April that his cashed-up club – which needed a brilliant playmaker of Galvin’s ilk – actually had no interest in him.
And whaddya know? This week, they signed him up.
Gould’s explanation for his volte-face was a classic of the genre.
“What happened this week,” he said, “is the goalpost got moved incredibly, because all of a sudden we got a call on Tuesday from [his] manager [Isaac Moses] to say that there was a chance they were negotiating a release with the Tigers, and he would be available virtually now.”
See? It was a complete rewriting of history. Gould would have you believe that back in April, it wasn’t in the air that Galvin might leave the club immediately, which is complete and utter nonsense. At the time, he said the situation with Galvin and the Tigers was “untenable,” which it clearly was. But now he says he really thought Galvin was locked up till the end of next year. I call bullshit.
And I say that when Gould is speaking about the intentions of his club, it means only that Gould is speaking about the intentions of his club. No more, and no less. If it actually reflects what those intentions are, I take it as a coincidence.
Now, when my colleague Michael Chammas more politely called him on his most recent about-face on 100% Footy on Monday night, Gould had the hide, the absolute hide, to turn nasty, attack Chammas and the media, saying “most of our issues are created by the gibber in the media … You say a lot of things that just aren’t true. You say a lot of things that are exaggerated. You exaggerate what’s going on and that makes it difficult for us.”
Cry me a river, Phil! And he did.
“What I do know,” Gould added, “is there is not another CEO, not another general manager or recruitment manager that has to sit on a panel and answer these questions.”
Phil, you’re breaking our heart! Are you on that panel at the point of a gun, or because you are being paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to be there?
No, Phil. You mind your words. Your constant attacks on the media … are tedious and insulting.
And you want to whinge about having to answer questions about having told obvious porky-pies?
He even told Chammas to, get this, “mind your words, son”.
No, Phil. You mind your words. Your constant attacks on the very media that you have been a leading part of for three or four decades are tedious and insulting. They might wash if you had an unending record of telling the truth, come what may, but you don’t.
Chammas was careful to say, “I am not questioning your credibility”. Well, I certainly am. In the realms of complaining about mistruths being published in the media, you don’t have any credibility, Phil.
Pull your head in. Son.
Marbles king out to regain the crown
As if you could ever forget, back in 2018, TFF broke the story about how one Damian Farrell was runner-up in the Australian Marbles Championship in 2018 in Brunswick Heads, and went one better in 2019. He then remained UNDEFEATED all the way through to 2023 – helped by a couple of COVID-19 cancellations, but still.
And then, of course, last year, the fall. He had always been told that one day, a younger, faster, gun-slinger would come along, but never believed it, until the 14-year-old schoolboy, Santiago Villanueva, from the wrong side of the border, (a bloody Queenslander!) turned up, and took him down. Well, Damian is coming back, do you hear me? Refusing to bow to his betters, my man Damo has been carbo loading all year in preparation for next Saturday when the 2025 championship will play out from 10am to 2pm in Banner Park, Brunswick Heads. Billy the Kid must fall! Old Wyatt Earp to win!
Will report back. TFF has a deal with Farrell who – by complete coincidence – is also the organiser of the Championships. But it means you can ONLY read your news of the Australian Marble Championships, here!
What They Said
Susie Pearl, wife of former Canberra, Sydney Roosters and Cronulla star Todd Carney, on realising before their first date that Carney was the same one who had done the infamous “bubbler”: “Who doesn’t do that crap? My brother-in-law at the time had done it, and I wasn’t fazed by it.” Exactly! Nothing to see here, officer. Move on!
A Manchester United fan, not happy with their goalie after “Our Ange” guided Totttenham Hotspur to the 1-0 win in the final of the Europa League: “I’d rather have a bloody dildo in goal, at least it moves.” Charming.
Iga Swiatek on how she prepares at the French Open: “Usually I don’t go out right before the match, so I just go to the park, do some Lego, read a book. I don’t watch too many TV shows because then I have weird dreams!” Good thing she hasn’t watched Adolescence. Have you seen it? Powerful, but . . .
Coco Gauff, after going on court at the French Open without her racquets: “Honestly, I thought they put the racquets in the bag, and my side court bag is filled with drinks and everything. So it felt like I had enough weight. And then I got on court, and I opened the first zipper. I was like, ‘OK, no racquets.’ The second zipper, I was like, ‘Oh my God. I went on court with no racquets’.”
Terry Bradshaw doesn’t want his old team, the Pittsburgh Steelers, to sign 41-year-old Aaron Rodgers: “That’s a joke. That to me is just a joke. What are you going to do? Bring him in for one year, are you kidding me? That guy needs to stay in California. Go somewhere and chew on bark and whisper to the gods out there.”
Novak Djokovic on finally winning his 100th title, joining Jimmy Connors and Roger Federer as the only men’s players to do so: “I’m just grateful to clinch the 100 here. I had to work for it, that is for sure.”
Novak Djokovic celebrates in Geneva.Credit: nnadamien.mccartney
Ange Postecoglou to the fans after the Europa League win: “All the best TV series, season three is better than season two.“
Ange, a little later: “I should have thought about it a bit more because sometimes they kill off the main character.”
Rafael Nadal: “I don’t miss much tennis because I feel that I’ve given all what I had. I arrive today with the peace that I can’t be on court. You know, my body doesn’t allow me to be on court. So that’s all. I am at peace.”
Donald Trump on hosting the World Cup and the Olympics in his second term: “We have the World Cup, and we have the Olympics. I have everything. Amazing, the way things work out. God did that – I believe that.” The mind boggles.
Naomi Osaka after her first-round French Open loss: “As time goes on, I feel like I should be doing better. But also – I kind of talked about this before, maybe a couple years ago, or maybe recently, I’m not sure – I hate disappointing people.”
Naomi Osaka at the French Open.Credit: Getty Images
Osaka, on her current coach Patrick Mouratoglou, who used to work with Serena Williams: “He goes from working with, like, the greatest player ever to, like, ‘What the (expletive) is this?’ You know what I mean? Sorry for cursing, I hope I don’t get fined.”
Olympic great Ariarne Titmus on the “Druggie-Dome”, Enhanced Games: “I’ve never been motivated by money. If they offered me $10 million, I would never put my body through that. I’ve got a pretty strong stance on this. I’m not afraid to speak out on it. It doesn’t sit well with me morally.”
Panthers coach Ivan Cleary, when asked how they could move off the bottom of the ladder:“Win games.”
Arsenal’s Steph Catley, front, duels with Barcelona’s Ewa Pajor.Credit: AP
Team of the Week
Arsenal. Won the Women’s Champions League final with Australians Steph Catley, Caitlin Foord and Kyra Cooney-Cross in the squad
Panthers and Swans. Both already have seven losses. That’s as many as the Panthers suffered all of last season, while the Swans only had six.
Melbourne City – Melbourne Victory. Meet Saturday night in the first A-League Men derby grand final.
Oscar Piastri. Another podium finish for him – he’s done so in every race this year bar the Australian Grand Prix.
Charlie Woods. The 16-year-old son of Tiger Woods earned his first American Junior Golf Association win with a three-shot victory at the Team TaylorMade Invitational.
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