Wow. Just wow.
You may recall how, after the first round this season, I said it was already over and that no-one who saw the Penrith Panthers play could doubt that they would win again, and everyone else was making up the numbers. I stand behind it, despite some recent stunning form by all of the Roosters, the Cowboys, Cronulla, Souths and the Storm on a good day.
But whoever saw Parramatta play the way they did against the Broncos on Thursday night?
Throughout coach Brad Arthur’s reign they have always looked a team of enormous potential that just couldn’t get it together when it counted – red-hot at the beginning of the season and even the middle, but no matter what, Arthur did he couldn’t wake them up when September comes, let alone October.
Thursday night’s match was technically still in August, but their demolition of the Broncos with such power, precision and sheer ruthlessness, to record a 53-6 win – their fourth win in the last five matches – says that they, too, are coming to the boil when it counts.
All up? All up, I repeat, Penrith will still win the whole thing, but the NRL is in a healthy spot when all of the next five teams are in fantastic form and capable of making it to the Last Dance with them.
Maika Sivo and the Eels are looking the goods.Credit:NRL Photos
Hurrah for the Wanderers
Let’s hear it for the Hurlstone Park Wanderers subbies soccer team, from Sydney’s Inner West, who play in the Canterbury District comp. After wrapping up the minor premiership and winning the qualifying final, they wanted to train last Saturday to prepare for Saturday’s grand final.
But where?
The club’s home ground at Ewen Park by the Cooks River, was booked by the annual Special Abilities Football Carnival, for teenagers with autism, managed for many years by club stalwart, Robin Hawkes. Solution? Umm, could the senior Wanderers team perhaps play in the carnival against the Special Abilities players?
Great idea!
For 90 minutes of a quality match, there were plenty of goals, many wonderful moments of sportsmanship and enormous bonhomie from both sides as the crowd roared.
Who won?
Who cares!
The Wanderers have declared it the perfect preparation for their grand final and have dedicated their forthcoming victory – they’re sure of it – to the special abilities players.
Gotta love this city!
Crikey, cricket needs some work
Look, when it comes to the Big Show vs Little League, there’s Broadway, there’s off-Broadway and then … there’s Australia hosting Zimbabwe in Townsville in August in a one-day international series. Seriously, why bother?
This is no disrespect to the fine city of Townsville at all, so much as an observation that when you are taking international cricket matches to regional towns, the game must have changed – and it really has.
Before our very eyes, franchise-based T20 cricket is sweeping all before it, the economic engine that pays all the bills and so gets priority over all other forms. That leaves ODIs as the bloody rump left over from what used to be, and Test cricket as little more than the Nostalgia Round.
My late colleague Peter Roebuck – thank you, I know – was the first one I know of to seriously float the idea of shorter form cricket in a column in 2004. Noting the boring nature of one-day cricket, he said why not simply carve out the most boring part of the games which usually goes from the 15th to the 40th over where all is oh-so predictable, reduce the games to 25 overs an innings, and you could then have two matches in the one day, possibly using four teams?
“Australia has never been afraid to try something new,” Roebuck wrote. “After all, coloured clothing, night cricket and circles first appeared on this large island. Next year, the Australians must organise a quadrangular tournament of 25-over matches.”
And so, here we are. Australia vs Zimbabwe in Townsville, before they take on the Kiwis in Cairns. Followed by going to India for three T20 games, then to the Gold Coast to take on the West Indies in three T20 games, three more T20 games against England and then it’s the T20 World Cup.
As world cricket broadly follows the European soccer model of the clubs in the domestic leagues holding sway, and all that is left over for an international quotient are tournaments and major Test series like those between Australia, England and India.
There are bright lights but little substance to short forms of cricket.Credit:Getty
On a whim, I looked up the last time the Windies played New Zealand in a Test match. It was 2017. The last time Australia played a Test match against the West Indies? New Year’s 2016!! Ireland were admitted to world cricket in 2018 and have played a total of three Test matches, the last of which was three years ago.
In the ICC’s Future Tours Program released this week, the Australian Test team will twice be playing overseas in January for the first time in over 50 years. Why? Because when you put the demands of the all-powerful T20 schedule into the computer together with the availability of major players, those are the dates that come up, so they have to go with it.
My curmudgeonly comment?
I get the administrators bowing to the economic imperative of T20 cricket for the needs of today. But it feels like they are sacrificing the spiritual core of the game – Test cricket – to do so. And if they lose that spirit, that core, those traditions, all they will have left to replace the Long Room at Lord’s is a carpet composed of used bubble-gum wads that nobody truly cares about.
Seriously, what happened in T20 last summer? However absorbing it might have been at the time you were watching, can anyone remember it now? It comes, it goes, it is forgotten. And even as I speak, I see the West Indies is unveiling something called – wait for it – a “6ixty tournament.”
Instead of changing ends after each over, 30 balls will be bowled from one end, followed by 30 from the other. Each innings should take about 45 minutes.
I am not sure what that it. But it just ain’t cricket.
And you kids? Get off my lawn!
Cowboys halfback Tom Dearden.Credit:Getty
Always funny, unless it’s you
It is the rule. All sporting stories about ruptured testicles and the like must bring first a shudder from male readers, followed by a yarn to lighten things. The latest news is that North Queensland Cowboys star Tom Dearden might miss as long as a month in recovering from his own ruptured testicle which he suffered last weekend. All the best to him for a full recovery.
But it reminds me of the story, once told by former New Zealand Test wicketkeeper Ian Smith on the BBC. Way back when Smith was batting against England, a delivery got through and hit him in the netheries. He fell down, saw stars then heard pained titters from all the fielders around, glad that it wasn’t them. Then he looked up and saw the concerned face of legendary umpire Dickie Bird above him.
“Are thee OK lad?” Dicky asked kindly.
“I think so,” Smith groaned. “Can thee get up and walk lad?” the sympathetic umpire asked.
“I think so,” said Smith, still in exquisite agony.
“Then walk lad,” Bird said. “You’re out lbw.”
What They Said
After a bad loss to the Sharks, Des Hasler not appreciating the irony of his comments: “We spoke about opportunity – it comes with playing in that Manly jersey.”
IllustrationCredit:John Shakespeare
Anna Palus, the woman in the stands at Wimbledon who Nick Kyrgios complained about, telling the umpire she was the “one who looks like she’s had about 700 drinks,” is now suing him, releasing a statement: “Not only did this cause considerable harm on the day, resulting in my temporary removal from the arena, but Mr Kyrgios’ false allegation was broadcast to, and read by, millions around the world, causing me and my family very substantial damage and distress.”
The Tigers’ James Tamou after being sent off in the final minutes of the match against the Roosters: “I can’t watch it. I’m coaching kids and how do I explain that behaviour to them? How do they look up to someone like me when they see that on TV? I’ve played 300 games and I’ve never spoken that way to a referee.”
Daniel Ricciardo fighting for his career: “I believe I still thrive off it because I still believe I belong [in Formula 1] and can do it. That’s what really gets me jacked.”
Essendon President David Barham after sacking coach Ben Rutten: “The board is doing what it thinks is in the best interests of the club. We made decisions that we think give us the best chance of getting sustained success. We’ve had a long time without success. I think our fans, our members, they all want us to get success as quickly as possible – and that’s what we’re doing.”
Chelsea manager Thomas Tuchel on their first-world problems contributing to the loss to Leeds: “Everything that can go wrong, did go wrong. It started yesterday. We had no plane to arrive so we came on the bus. The players could fly but for the coaching staff it was a long ride on the bus.”
Latrell Mitchell on how he deals with the media: “I’ve been having fun, that’s always been me, I’ve just been perceived as someone else. I’ve done it all my life, I’ve talked a big game but always backed it up.”
Ukrainian FA President Andriy Pavelko on the domestic league returning: “Football will be the breath of fresh air that reminds people what we are fighting and dying for.”
According to the Herald Sun’s Mark Robinson, this is the sledge of Brisbane Lions captain Dayne Zorko to Melbourne defender Harrison Petty: “I hope your mother dies.” Petty was so upset he had to leave the field before returning. Zorko apologised, but it comes close to marking a new low for nastiness.
Formula One president Stefano Domenicali says he does not expect a woman to race at the top level of the sport in the next five years: “Realistically speaking, unless there is something like a meteorite, I don’t see a girl coming into F1 in the next five years.” Well, not with that attitude, she won’t!
A personal Dayne Zorko sledge reduced Harrison Petty to tears.Credit:Getty Images
Kieren Perkins on the race for medals at the expense of an athlete’s wellbeing: “Sport needs to take some time having a really good hard look at itself. If we just want to win, and we’re happy just putting people into the meat grinder and seeing how many kids survive to get gold medals, if that’s all that matters … fine, I can buy gold medals, that’s not hard. But I think we can do better than that.”
Team of the Week
Sydney Swans. AFLW side plays their first match on Saturday afternoon against St Kilda at North Sydney Oval. GWS get their season underway on Sunday against the Bulldogs.
Carlton. First team since 1977 to miss the finals despite sitting inside the top eight after every round of the season except the final one. The last team to do the same – Carlton. Also, the first side since 1944 to lose their final match by 1 point and miss out on the final. The last team to do same – Carlton.
Jesse Southwell. The 17-year-old Knights player created history in the NRLW, scoring a try moments after becoming the competition’s youngest debutant.
Wallabies. Take on Springboks on Saturday afternoon at Adelaide Oval.
Benin. In order to change their image, the soccer team of the small African nation want to change their name from the “Squirrels” to the “Cheetahs”.
Nicholas Shehadie, Betty Cuthbert, Johnny Warren, Arthur Beetson and Ron Coote. All have been honoured by having stands named after them at the new SFS. All great choices.
Darren Lehmann, Todd Greenberg and the Australian Cricketers Association. In the wake of the tragic deaths of Shane Warne and Rod Marsh to heart attacks, they have led a drive for every cricket club in the country to have their own defibrillator. You can apply at the Community Cricket website.
Daniel Ricciardo. The Australian Formula One driver will be leaving McLaren at the end of the season, for parts unknown.
Twitter: @Peter_Fitz
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