When coming out as non-binary in December 2021, Carlton star Darcy Vescio admits they were uncertain about how people would react.
Vescio said they felt a “release of pressure” to have not been the first, following in the steps of former Gold Coast player Tori Groves-Little, who announced themselves as the first non-binary athlete in the AFLW competition in October 2021.
“The way Tori handled themselves, and the way the Suns got around them, and the whole league was able to embrace their identity … that gave me a lot of confidence to do the same,” Vescio said.
Darcy Vescio at Feminista Vinyl, a local record shop in Coburg run by women and non-binary folk, with music from women, trans, non-binary and GNC artists. Credit: Penny Stephens
“It’s nice just being able to be footy players and share that part of you and have that respected as well. I feel like, for a period there I was still unsure how people would take it, or if it would be embraced, but as soon as I came out, I felt so surrounded by love.”
At the time, Vescio took to social media to share the news: “just popping in to let you know that I am non-binary,” they said, adding that they/them were their preferred pronouns.
This week marks the start of the annual AFLW pride rounds, headlined by a match between the Western Bulldogs and Essendon at Whitten Oval on Friday – the site of the AFLW’s inaugural pride game in 2018.
Carlton’s pride guernsey has been designed by non-binary artist Zo Lam, reflecting themes of community and inclusivity, blending elements from the local, football, and LGBTQ communities.
“I love the vibrancy of it. I feel like there’s a real playful nature as well, which represents football as well as the energy of the queer community and sort of coming together and being able to represent each other,” Vescio said.
“It’s cool to see different artists have different takes on what the guernsey should look like, and then being able to show their expression through that. I’ve had the honour of designing a few pride jumpers before, and it’s a pretty big process and something that’s really special to see players running out in it.”
Vescio was drafted at 22 from the Darebin Falcons, a club that was “formed when a group of women chose not to be an afterthought in a club focused on and run by men”.
They now consider themselves a Carlton veteran, and said Pride round was an opportunity to pay tribute to the communities that helped build the league.
“It wouldn’t be here without them,” they said.
“Walking into that club [Darebin Falcons] for the first time, I sort of built an understanding of just how much hard work had gone into creating a safe space where people who may not have always felt like they belonged in football could come and play football and express themselves, and bring their partners, bring their families, and feel like they belong.
“The AFLW was kind of built upon the queer communities who came before us. For a long time, it was mostly LGBTQIA+ people playing women’s football, and creating a safe space for women and non-binary people to play.”
Vescio said the decision to adopt they/them pronouns involved a journey of collective learning.
“I hate creating any sort of discomfort. I never want people to feel like they’re doing the wrong thing if they slip up. It’s just about trying to get it right,” they said.
“Language is so habitual. Once you start using the language, at first, there’s growing pains, and you slip up – I slip up all the time – but I find it’s amazing how quickly you evolve. Once you start using the language … it just becomes second nature.”
Despite criticism labelling the AFL as “gone woke” for addressing social issues, Vescio countered that sports were tied to the human experience, and said there was a need for greater understanding among those resistant to social change.
“Football and sport is such a big driver of change in Australia, and I just think there’s nothing to be afraid of,” they said.
Carlton AFLW players left to right, Marianna Anthony, Keeley Sherar, Darcy Vescio and Jess Dal Poss wearing their pride round guernsey’s.Credit: Penny Stephens
“At the end of the day, when people push back against different causes, it’s just from a lack of understanding. I hope that in showing pride and celebrating each other … we continue to create a safer and more inclusive space for everyone.
“I think people forget that not everyone feels safe at a football game or to go to a club. Often, the people who push back against these rounds are the people who have always been comfortable in those spaces. So it’s just reminding them that not everyone has had that experience, and it’s important to share those stories.”
Carlton will don their 2024 pride guernsey on Saturday night as they take on Fremantle at Fremantle Oval.
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