North Melbourne coach Denis Pagan says he wished Wayne Carey had simply apologised to former teammate Anthony Stevens before the football club imploded.
Speaking to his former coach about his infamous 2002 affair with Stevens’ wife Kelli for the first time, Carey has revealed details of the tryst that rocked Australian football.
Carey has previously said the affair continues to be “the biggest regret of my life”.
Speaking on his new podcast, The Truth Hurts, Carey this week said he never considered apologising to Stevens in the days that followed the affair becoming public.
Watch every match of every round of the 2023 Toyota AFL Premiership Season LIVE on Kayo Sports. New to Kayo? Start your free trial now >
He said he made an ugly, knee-jerk decision that he had to leave the football club immediately.
Just a few days later he walked away in disgrace from the very club where he is still widely regarded to be the greatest player to wear a blue and white jumper.
The 51-year-old was a superstar on the field during his playing career, playing 272 games, winning two AFL premierships with the North Melbourne Kangaroos, making seven All-Australian teams including four as captain and being a member of the Australian Football Hall of Fame.
He is now remembered equally for his on-field heroics as he is his off-field scandals.
As first reported by The Herald Sun, Carey and Pagan have now shared their regrets about the furore.
Carey says on the podcast the pair had never spoken about it before.
Pagan said it wounds him that his former players are not on speaking terms and have never mended their friendships back together.
It was revealed in August Carey and Stevens were involved in a verbal stoush during North Melbourne’s reunion for the 1996 premiership team.
Carey insisted at the time the conversation was not heated.
It remains unclear if Carey has ever offered an apology to Stevens.
Stevens stayed silent for years about being betrayed by Carey before finally going on the record with veteran AFL journalist Mike Sheahan in 2015, telling Fox Footy Carey had never apologised to him. Carey has continued to refute the claim.
Pagan believes the bomb could have been defused with an apology in the immediate aftermath of the scandal being discovered.
“It was the greatest tragedy in my time in coaching. Even to the point now I knew how much pressure you were under,” Pagan said on the podcast.
“I wish we could have changed it. You could have come out straight away and said, ‘I am terribly, terribly sorry.’
“I thought you were reluctant to say you were sorry at the start.
“It’s easy for me to say I wish you had done this and I wish you had grabbed Stevo and embraced him and said, “I am terribly sorry, whatever you want me to do I will do it”.
“But that is easy for me to say, I don’t want to know the details of it. It is just one of the sad facts of life.
“You talked about regrets, it’s one of your biggest regrets and I am sure even now if you could have done anything to change it, it did destroy the fabric of the football club and we did pick up the pieces a bit but we were never quite the same.
“When I think how close everyone was and how close you were, it was tragic. We had such a bond and it was broken and even now there is still a bit of angst and I hate to see it. All we can do now is pick up the pieces. I see you, I see Glenn (Archer) and I see Anthony and I just wish it could have been like the old times.
“I wish you could have gone up to Echuca for the weekend or Sydney for the weekend and come back and have all been mates and tricked the coach that you’ve only had two chandys and didn’t have a beer and we could have all gone on but it happened, that’s life we’re not going to change it and these things occur.
“When I think of it now it still devastates me to think, I wish it didn’t happen but it’s life.”
Carey responded by saying an apology was never an option at the time because he believed the bridge had been burned.
“I was really quick to just ring (North Melbourne officials) Geoff Walsh and Greg Miller and rang straight away.
“The thought was, they say fight or flight. But straight away the thought for me was I have got to walk away. There was no other thought in my mind.
“For those who think I got sacked, that wasn’t the case. I quit straight away. There was no thought. The apology thing (to Stevens to save his Kangaroos career) never really came into mind at that point. It was just, “I have to separate myself from the club”.”
Most recently it has been Carey’s love life that has been making headlines.
He went public with new love interest Catie O’Neill via an Instagram post in March.
The 28-year-old TikTok star and businesswoman has been seen at public events alongside Carey in recent months.
Carey split from ex-wife Sally in 2006. The pair share daughter, Ella, born six weeks after the split was announced.
Carey then began dating former model Kate Neilson.
He then became engaged to Stephanie Edwards in 2015, but separated a year later.
The pair have a daughter, Charlotte.
He also has a son, Carter, with model Jessica Paulke, with whom he split from in 2019 after dating for a year.
Carey last week also made a series of headlines in his debut podcast after revealing he had been “muzzled” by Channel 7 before he was shown the door by the network.