Mercifully, a man dressed in all black, wearing a beanie over his hat because the weather was so frigid, having to use his putter as a pseudo walking stick so he can laboriously pick his ball up out of the hole — after back-to-back double bogeys — was finally called from the golf course.
If you didn’t know better, you would think he was still only out there because he hates being at home. Yet right now, this is Tiger Woods’ life.
There’s pain written all over his face, and if there was a golfing God (apart from him), they might have gently let him sway the wrong side of the cut line in this Masters on Sunday morning (AEST).
Instead, Woods made it on the number as he equalled the record of his great friend Fred Couples and Gary Player, making the cut in a 23rd straight appearance at Augusta National. These are the type of little wins Woods craves these days.
At 47, Woods dragged his bionic leg sorrowfully around the hills, a nod to the tournament’s nostalgia, with perhaps his hardest-ever day at The Masters about to come.
Of the 54 who made the cut, Woods (+9) is last.
Tiger Woods during the third round at The Masters.Credit: AP
He’s already at six-over on his third round … from seven holes. Most of the field is going backwards in the treacherous conditions, but none at a faster rate than Woods, who has slipped into his role as ceremonial golfer and the sport’s statesman, long removed from the one who didn’t just want to beat his rivals back in the day, he wanted to rip their heart out while doing it.
What’s in it for Woods to keep teeing it up at Magnolia Lane each year, when even he knows he can’t win? Does he still get enjoyment out of it? Is it legacy? Is it because of his obsession with the armed forces and endurance levels? Is it because he simply has nothing better to do?
The line between Woods making the cut, or not, came down to the final minutes of the second round.
When he stepped up to answer three quick questions from reporters, he was going home. Shortly after limping away, his good mate Justin Thomas and Sungjae Im had made late bogeys and Woods had squeezed in.
Thomas grew up idolising Woods, and the pair thought exchanging a tampon on course during the Genesis Invitational earlier this year when Woods outdrove him was a neat joke, widely panned by, well, basically everyone.
But Thomas looked on the verge of tears as he fluffed the last hole to miss The Masters’ cut himself, and a tee time with Woods, and the joke was almost on Woods because his leg had to go straight back out into the driving rain.
Adam Scott spoke earlier in the week about the course having a funny way of looking after former champions. He was, of course, talking about the rub of the green usually afforded to the green jackets.
This time, Woods arrowed a pitch into the 15th green when completing his second round which cannoned into the flagstick. He muttered under his breath as the ball rolled away from the hole.
Tiger Woods made the cut at The Masters for a 23rd straight time.Credit: Getty
Ten years ago on the same hole, he did the same thing, except it rifled back into the water and one of the biggest rules controversies in years ensued.
Woods made the birdie putt this time, but by the time he was back out there for his third round which started on the 10th tee, he spun the same shot into the water en route to a seven.
So, this is now nostalgia, and few sporting events do nostalgia better than The Masters, providing an annual lap of honour for past champions every year, no matter how inadequate their game might be for the rigours of the Georgian hills.
Augusta native Larry Mize finished his last Masters this week. He’s 64. In his two rounds, he used a fluoro yellow ball and his average driving distance was just 216 metres, more than 80 metres shy of the tournament’s biggest hitter, South African amateur Aldrich Potgieter.
Sandy Lyle called it quits, too, at age 65 and 20-over for two rounds. He ran last.
Lyle returned to Augusta on Saturday night (AEST) to finish his weather-impacted second round with two putts on the 18th green. He prepared the night before with a “lot of tequila and whiskey tasting at 1am”. They still gave him a fitting ovation.
Compare that to Louis Oosthuizen, who didn’t bother showing up to play the final hole of his second round and withdrew from the tournament due to an injury. The details were not disclosed.
Who knows if it will be Woods’ last day at The Masters. Yet the days of him preparing for Augusta by tailoring land in his backyard to emulate the course’s head-spinning green complexes are barely sufficient. He just can’t compete because he can’t walk properly.
Woods’ adulation will never stop at The Masters, and he’s going to have to harness every bit of it as he potentially walks 29 holes in one day, as Augusta National seeks to end the tournament on Monday morning (AEST).
It might be one final act of defiance, and he’ll be out there because it’s his life.
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