How to bluff your way through Melbourne Cup day: Our three-minute guide

How to bluff your way through Melbourne Cup day: Our three-minute guide

It was difficult enough back in the day for the once-a-year Melbourne Cup watcher to get a handle on racing’s peculiarities for that one day every 12 months.

Filling out a TAB ticket was as confusing as scoring at local cricket. Tips came at you harder than the next morning’s headache. Queues stretched out of TAB branches on Tuesday morning. But the ritual was set, and all Joe or Joanne Average had to do was settle in the running to get through the day.

Fans enjoy the races at FlemingtonCredit: Justin McManus

Here is our guide to help you experience Australia’s greatest race …

How to bet

Of course gamble responsibly, but be aware that the TAB outlet or a pub are not the only place you can lay a bet. Most of the action happens on phones with a huge array of online bookmaking firms available if you download their app and follow the directions.

You can’t, under sensible new laws, use credit cards to put money into many accounts so you will need a way to have a deposit, which you can limit and then bet win (your horse must win), place, each-way (you receive a dividend if your horse finishes in the top three), quinella (first two home in any order), exacta (first two home in exact order), trifecta (first three home) or first four (do I need to explain that?). You can also get mystery bets at TABs if studying weights, form, barriers, jockeys or trainers is not the way you want to spend your time.

And remember the Melbourne Cup is race 7 at Flemington. If you know that and the number of the horse you aim to back, you will find a way.

Also understand that if a horse is paying $6 the win, then you will receive $6 for every dollar you place on the horse if it wins. Obviously, the higher the odds, a figure determined by experts based on where punters place their money or via a pool that spits out the odds, the more reward because the higher-priced horses are considered for a whole range of reasons less chance to win.

The favourites for this year’s race at No.1 Vauban (he was favourite last year but struggled) and Buckaroo (can he run two miles?). More often than not, the most fancied runners are the lower numbers, but because the Melbourne Cup is a handicap the idea is for the official handicapper to give each horse the right weight based on form and ability to give every horse an equal chance of winning.

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These facts might help your decisions:

  1. Only three fillies and 12 mares (that is female horses) have won the Cup with Verry Elleegant in 2021 the first since Makybe Diva won three in a row from 2003 to 2005. The mares in this race are No.14 Zardozi, No.21 Positivity and No.23 The Map. Of course, if Cox Plate-winning mare Via Sistina had run in the race, she would have started favourite.
  2. Barrier 11 has produced the most winners but has been in a drought since Americain jumped from barrier 11 to win the 2010 Melbourne Cup. Vauban is in barrier 11 in the 2024 Melbourne Cup. Barrier 7, 15 and 18 boast just one Cup win with Verry Elleegant breaking barrier 18’s duck in 2021. Absurde barrier 7, Sharp ‘N’ Smart barrier 15 and Land Legend barrier 18 want to defy that trend.
  3. Number four is the most successful number with Warp Speed having the honour this year, while Interpretation is hoping to be the first horse to wear 18 to victory since Peter Pan in 1932.
  4. The past two winners, Without a Fight and Gold Trip, carried more weight than any of this year’s starters but horses carrying 51 to 51.5 kilograms have a good record in the race.

A sweep is an alternative to putting a bet on

If you want to have skin in the game but want the money invested to stay in the family so to speak, organise a sweep. To enter a sweep you need to pay a certain amount (some are $2 per horse, others are $10 per horse) to have a horse which is drawn next to your name. The horse’s name is dragged out of a hat at the same time as your name, meaning, for example, Mary Bloggs is drawn as Valiant King is drawn. That means Mary Bloggs has Valiant King running for her in the race (bad luck Bloggsy). At least you know your money is going to the lucky person who had the winner (you can decide how much goes to the winner) whether that be a family member or a friend at the barbie. The Age has done all the hard work for you with this online sweep.

Useful conversation-starters in social settings

You can respond to anyone who gives you a tip with the question: do you think they will run the trip? They will either expand on the reasons why the horse they mentioned could run from Melbourne to the You Yangs without slowing down or acknowledge your understanding of how difficult it is for some horses to run two miles (3200 metres) at a good pace.

Another handy conversation starter in 2024 is to ask why hasn’t James McDonald got a ride in this year’s race? I could give an answer, but that would spoil the fun. That there is a record-breaking four female jockeys with rides – Jamie Kah, Winona Costin, Hollie Doyle and Rachel King – is a good step forward for the race that once stopped the nation. Of course, Michelle Payne is the only female jockey to win the race with her 2015 victory on Prince of Penzance part of our national story.

Buckaroo has ‘The Magic Man’ Joao Moreira on board while every jockey will want their horse to settle, meaning they want them to relax in running to save energy for the run to the line. The colours the jockeys wear are often attached to the owners. Sentiment will be with Interpretation as his jockey will wear a cap bearing the royal blue and lime green colours of the late Colin McKenna, a co-owner of the horse.

Useful conversation-killers in social settings

Equally handy is responding to the question, ‘what’s your tip?’ with the answer ‘don’t bet’.

Say ‘I backed Onesmoothoperator because it reminds me of myself’.

‘Oh my god I think I won the trifecta’ just minutes after the race is over if you know nothing about racing and are surrounded by racing fanatics wearing long faces.

If you are at the track

If you are heading to Flemington, trains run to the track from Southern Cross station, or you can drive or catch an Uber or taxi right to the front gate. And someone will point you to a marquee if you are lucky enough to score a ticket to one.

The members’ stand is excellent at Flemington, which you can refer to as headquarters if you want to sound sharp and smart, but the grass area for the public in front of the Hill Stand has the advantage of being on the winning post so you can see the winner as they pass the finishing post, which Melbourne Cup runners do twice in completing the 3200 metres.

Most importantly don’t jump from the barriers too soon, race too fiercely, or you will be battling to find the line a long way from home.

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