Friends, it’s that time of the year. This weekend, you can fill your plate with as much as you can handle, and still come back for more.
Inevitably, all the hoopla will bring to the table those for whom the rest of the year is a bit of blur, and I offer the following as something of a menu for the uninitiated.
NRL preliminary final. North Queensland v Parramatta. 7.50 pm Friday. It’s an interesting clash of the feelgood contenders, both with great back stories. The Eels are coached by one of rugby league’s most liked figures, Brad Arthur, who has been in charge for nearly a decade and achieved solid, but never spectacular results when it counts: the finals. He’s been under some pressure to break the drought that began in 1986 and convert their undoubted potential into actual results, only to see them usually banished in straight sets come the end of the year. Last Friday, however, they belted Canberra in a brutal fashion to momentarily quieten the critics and make it to the third round of the finals for the first time in Arthur’s reign.
As to the North Queensland Cowboys, just how they are performing so well is something of a mystery. For every expert that had Penrith to win, there were nearly as many who said the only thing the Cowboys had in their gun holster was a wooden spoon. But, through a combination of great coaching and a strange chemistry that emerged from early in the season, the North Queenslanders made it all the way to the final four. Which – notwithstanding the fact that, at home like this, the Cowboys have won 11 of the last 13 matches against the Eels – is as far as they will go. Eels to win.
AFL grand final. Geelong v Sydney, 2.30pm Saturday. Well, who saw that coming? Not me. It’s not that the Swans haven’t been good for most of this season, it’s just that, well, it’s really only in recent weeks when you and I weren’t particularly looking that they have been great. Last week, against Collingwood, they leapt out to a 26-0 lead, at which point I felt safe to predict their victory on Twitter. Before my very eyes, at that moment they wilted, mercifully scraping home by a point as they held off the fast-finishing Magpies, who had won 13 of their last 15 matches.
And so to the last Saturday in September for the Swans. The only thing stopping the possibility of a magnificent final curtain call for Buddy Franklin – what better way to leave than a flag, after nine years of playing for Sydney including two grand final losses – is that it was announced on Monday that he’ll be back for one more year anyway! No matter. As discussed, I was wrong about Buddy. Turns out he was a great buy. For their part, Geelong have been strong all season. They’re on no less than a 15-match winning streak and been streets ahead of the league all season. So let me do my little bit to help the Swans. I genuinely, honestly think they’ll fight magnificently, but fall just short. Geelong to win. (If that doesn’t get Sydney over the top, nothing will.)
Bledisloe Cup. Wallabies vs All Blacks, 5.05 pm Saturday. What might have been! If only, last Thursday evening in Melbourne, the French ref had given our own Bernard Foley just one more second to kick the ball out. If only we had been able to successfully defend against the All Blacks’ subsequent raid. If only the lonely – those who believe the Wallabies can win on Saturday – could get a bit of support for Saturday!
Look, a win is not likely. The last time the Wallabies won at Eden Park, Bob Hawke was less than half way through his prime ministership, Paul Hogan was still cool, and the Eels were flying high. Yes, it was THAT long ago! But there’s this. In bad years, the All Blacks not only look unbeatable, they bloody well are unbeatable. That is not the case this year. In the last 12 months, Ireland, Argentina, and France have beaten them. They have lost six of their last 10 matches. They’re vulnerable, I tell you, if we all hold hands and rush ’em!
But seriously, why can’t we beat them, too? So, yes, the loss last week was devastating, an historic victory that slipped away on what looked like pedantry. But don’t forget that in that second half when the Wallabies had all 15 men on the paddock, they were able to wipe out a 31-13 deficit, and go to a 37-34 lead, in the space of 23 minutes! Sure, it all turned to merde, but it changes nowt the fact that up against the All Blacks, our blokes briefly looked imperial. Not convinced? Me neither.
All Blacks to win.
NRL preliminary final. Souths v Penrith. 7.50pm Saturday. For most savvy observers, and this columnist too, this is the grand final a week early. I said after round one that Penrith would win this year and the rest of the comp was just a contest to see who would be runners-up. I stand by it – it’s just that, the way the cards have fallen, the biggest threat to the ’Riff is a battered Souths team that somehow just keeps on coming no matter what punishment they take. The one to watch in the Rabbitohs is, as ever, Souths fullback Latrell Mitchell, who saves his best for the biggest occasions. He’s not particularly big, nor supremely muscled, but his acceleration would leave a Porsche at the lights; his swerve is Veuve Clicquot, and his passing game is mesmerising.
But it won’t be enough. Penrith to win in a canter.
Stream the NRL Premiership 2022 live and free on 9Now.
