Geez, the Melburnians are a weird mob. This week, the one-time Collingwood champion and then coach Nathan Buckley, who now does commentary, ended his relationship with one Brodie Ryan after what, we’re told, was a three-year relationship.
I know, none of my damn business, and none of your damn business either. But this is where the “Melbourne weird” part comes in. So many people in Bleak City care that Ms Ryan – who I am guessing must be an “influencer” – put out a statement on Instagram. It was addressed to – and I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP – “the followers of the ‘Brodes and Bucks’ journey”.
It went on: “After much reflection and consideration, Nath and I have decided to part ways …”
Think for a moment. In this town, I guess we have had lots of famous sporting break-ups. Braith Anasta and one or two come to mind; Michael Clarke and a few; You-Know-Who* with everyone.
In none of those cases, however, is it imaginable that one of the dear departed would address such a statement to “the followers of [our] journey.” They would be laughed out of town.
Followers of your journey??? Are our lives so empty we have nothing better to do with our time? You really think we could so think of ourselves without cringing in embarrassment?
The ‘Brodes and Bucks’ journey has come to an end … and our world will never be the same.Credit: AFL Photos via Getty Images
But in Melbourne? No problem. Because she’s right. I checked. People there really did “follow their journey”. No-one blinked at the statement. They’re a weird mob. Rant over.
Zach a perfect Fitt for union
TFF attended something called a High Performance Breakfast at Rugby Australia on Friday morning, and was disappointed. There were no cordon bleu eggs over-easy for everyone, as I had hoped, nor coffees so good they would make a Chilean barista weep. Rather, it was just stand around and chat, with some apple tarts from the local bakery.
But I digress. One of the attendees was Zach Fittler, son of former rugby league legend Brad, and who, I am reliably informed, is a serious Wallaby prospect in future years. Right now, Zach is with the NSW Waratahs development squad – all while tearing them up with Easts Colts, in the backline. A Scots graduate last year, there was a tussle for his services between league and union, and after the breakfast I asked him what had finally convinced him to come to union.
Zach Fittler playing for the Waratahs under 16s in 2022.Credit: © Karen Watson – Rugby AU Media
Softly spoken and exceedingly polite – his mother Marie and father Brad have clearly done an outstanding job in raising him – he told me.
Late last season, while playing both union for Scots and league for the Roosters’ SG Ball (Under-19s) team, the word had spread that he was thinking of committing to rugby union.
“As I ran out with the Roosters, all the crowd was shouting things at me,” he recounted with a smile. “Someone threw a beer can at me. Someone else called me a traitor. Afterwards, in the sheds, I told my father and mother I was going to stick with rugby union. They were very supportive.”
Onya, Zach. And we of the union are proud to have you.
Is it me, or is there a lot of kissing in rugby league lately?
And while in a whimsical mood, making mountains of molecules, here’s another thing. There’s a lot of male kissing going on in rugby league lately … and it’s kinda nice.
See, back in the day, any kind of physical affection displayed between footballers would be guaranteed, guaranteed, to draw a cry from the stands and from your team-mates, unleashing some homophobic slur or other. The most allowable physical contact, beyond breaking another bloke in two, was a firm handshake and maybe a pat on the back to a teammate if he scored a try.
That has morphed in recent years of course, to mass high-fives, leaping on each other in momentary human pyramid with the scorer as King Cheops, the nearest to the scorer as base, and the late arrivals as the peak. But just in the last year or two, one sometimes sees – nay, frequently – the scorer even receiving a kiss on the cheek or forehead or behind the ear by some of the first men there.
Is this the Pasifika influence? I don’t know. But it is now all through league and a lot of union. On Thursday night’s Channel Nine News, Danny Weidler had a piece on that most curmudgeonly of all league identities, Phil Gould, being surprised with a party celebrating his 50 years in rugby league. Gould teared up, and kissed the first male he came to, Freddy Fittler; and the second, David Gyngell; and the third, Ricky Stuart!
It was warm, intimate, and a long way removed from our previously stilted all-Anglo stiff-upper-lip and keep-your-hands-to-yourselves ways. Rugby league! Leading the way in touchy-feely-niceness! Who’da thunk it?
Cauliflower power
This year’s Cauliflower Club lunch? I thought you’d never ask. In the first instance, we are expanding to Melbourne and doing a lunch in celebration of the 2025 British & Irish Lions Tour to Australia, with the Celtic Club. It’ll be on Friday, July 25 at 12pm at Zinc, Federation Square, and it will boast John Eales, among other distinguished guests! Come!
That’s gold, Jerry
As discussed, the best sports story of the week was NBA superstar Josh Giddey dropping by to play a game at community level in Melbourne, with some old mates. TFF ran a piece about it on Thursday, which included a story about the great All Black No.8, Jerry Collins, which got a lot of attention.
See, my favourite of the genre, was back in 2007, when Collins played a game of reserve grade for a village team in Britain, the Barnstaple Seconds, simply because he had been taking some R&R nearby, had been asked, and wanted to help out in their match against Newton Abbott.
Of course Collins dropped back four gears so as not to destroy the game, and yet at one point, when the Newton Abbot wing Aidan Tolley was about to score, the ball tucked under his left arm and his right arm raised in celebration, Collins’s killer instinct was too strong.
“He didn’t see me coming,” Collins told the Sunday Times. “I caught him in the air, faced him the other way and carried him back a few yards. He said, ‘Damn, it, you could have let me score that.’ ‘I couldn’t help myself,’ I said.”
Late in the game, it was one of Barnstaple’s props who couldn’t help himself.
The prop was injured and waiting for a stretcher to remove him, when he noted a concerned Collins standing over him.
“Any chance of a photo, Jerry?” he said. Collins obliged, lying on the ground by the prop so the photo could be taken. Once the game was over, Collins didn’t just leave, but went back to the clubhouse and got to know his fellow reserve-graders. They bonded further. And Collins took a decision.
“I have asked the Barnstaple guys,” Collins told the Sunday Times, “if it would be OK for me to wear their socks when I play for the Barbarians against South Africa at Twickenham. I have played for the club and it’s something I would like to do.”
When Collins and his wife were killed in a tragic car accident in 2015, the Barnstaple Club sent a couple of blokes across the world to represent them at the funeral in NZ.
* You Know Who
Yes, I know you are wondering who “You Know Who” is, above. Stop worrying. I just made it up for fun. But I do reckon about ten blokes around this town were shifting uncomfortably, thinking, “I’ve been a fool, and they’re on to me.” Give yourselves an uppercut.
What they said
North Sydney Bears fan, Dave “Pizza” Kerslake, on confirmation that the Bears will ride again in Perth, tells the SMH: “It’s the biggest thing to happen in sport worldwide. We’ve been out of this competition for 26 years, and we have risen again like Lazarus.”
Ange Postecoglou, on his second-season trophy-winning streak:“It’s just stating a fact. We’ll just keep doing what we’re doing.”
North Sydney Bears supporters react to the announcement the club will return to the NRL in 2027 as the Perth Bears.Credit: Steven Siewert
Indiana Pacer Tyrese Haliburton: “Being the point guard is like being the mom, trying to take care of everybody. I guess if we win the game, it means I’m a good mom.”
Swans chairman Andrew Pridham about issues with the SCG re drop-in wickets: “I wasn’t born yesterday. I don’t accept the argument. In fact, I know it’s not correct that you couldn’t do a drop-in wicket. There is sufficient technology today. I mean, we landed on the moon in 1969, so they can put a drop-in wicket in the SCG tomorrow.”
Jarome Luai on Lachlan Galvin: “We’re not going to get results if we don’t have connection as a team. We don’t have to all be best mates, but we need to have a connection.”
Denver Nugget Russell Westbrook after they eliminated the Houston Rockets: “I’m always prepared and I’ll be prepared for anything because I prepare myself for everything.”
Dr Christian Krekel of the London School of Economics on impact of the Olympics on people’s health: “We always hear these grand claims from politicians about how the Olympics has a lasting impact on healthy behaviours, but this does not hold up to reality. Our research shows that London 2012 nudged some previously inactive people to engage in physical activity. But once the event ends, it fades quite quickly.”
Geelong’s Bailey Smith on Jack Crisp’s shot for goal after the siren: “I thought he was going to have a fairytale ending. My heart was in my mouth, I was so scared.”
Crisp says he was emotional after being embraced by his teammates following the miss: “I definitely felt a lot of love with everyone getting around me, especially the Geelong players as well. It nearly brought a tear to my eye to be fair.”
Carlton coach Michael Voss after a poor start to the match: “So immediately you’re thinking: ‘Jeez, that’s not us’.” Maybe not. But given the number of times he has said that this year, you have to wonder if it might be precisely them?
Tyrese Haliburton again, after leading the Pacers to a second miracle win in a week: “I’m at peace with my game. I understand that I’m trusted in these moments. … It’s a special feeling. I get paid a lot of money to play a kids’ game and I’m having a lot of fun doing it.” Refreshing!
Russian roulette: US President Donald Trump.Credit: AP
The legendary NBA coach Gregg Popovich announced his retirement this week, heading to a front-office job instead. A fantastic man, he was always fearless, calling out Donald Trump’s inanities and insanities in equal measure. Going into the 2024 election, Popovich noted of Trump: “He’s pathetic. He’s small. He’s a whiner . . . He’s a damaged man.”
Trump on perhaps unbanning Russia from FIFA World Cup over Ukraine: “That’s possible. Hey, that could be a good incentive, right?” No, he’s not a KGB operative. But if he was, he would have peak position in their Hall of Fame.
Team of the Week
Ange Postecoglou. Led Tottenham into the Europa League final where they will take on Manchester United. So Yah-boo sucks to the lot of you doubters! Seriously, great win for him.
Gregg Popovich. Five-time NBA winning coach is retiring after 2291 regular season games and 284 playoff games.
Wallaroos. Defeated Fijiana 43-7 in a women’s rugby union international. Fine effort, that.
Tahli Gill and Dean Hewitt. Aussie pair won Australia’s first World Curling Championships medal, a bronze. I think curling is the furious broom-sweeping thing on ice.
Oscar Piastri. Australia’s No.1 global sports star right now. Discuss.
Adam Lang and Sean Aylmer. The two well-known denizens of the corporate media world are taking part in the 380 km Royal Far West – Ride for Country Kids. Donations can be made online to the Fear & Greed team, or on their website to raise money for country children with developmental needs.
