Two-and-a-half yonks back, on a week-long book tour with my publicist swinging through the eastern states, the subject of gay culture came up – something Andy had been happily immersed in for the previous couple of decades.
As we drove through the rolling green hills between Canberra and Tuross, he delightedly educated me on the many and varied subsets within the gay male world. Not only that – and not that there’s anything wrong with that, fer Chrissakes! – there were all kinds of signals that members of these subsets could give out to each other, by colour of clothing worn on certain days, etc, to indicate which subset they particularly identified with or were interested in.
(Hello? Hello, I think we have a crossed line, here? I thought this was meant to be a sports column?? . . . Alright I’ll hold … )
Which brings me to my sporting point.
(Thank Gawd for that!)
See, the one subset of gays for which there was no particular need to put out covert signals was “bears”. These were, he told me, either hairy men, chunky men, or – on the most attractive end of the spectrum – hairy and chunky men (and yes, thank you, I probably did miss my calling) – who like to hang out and more with other hairy, chunky men.
The notice shared by Perth Bears fans on FacebookCredit: Facebook
Most major cities even have clubs where hairy, chunky, gay bears can meet, in their own answer to Teddy Bears’ picnics. As a matter of fact, Perth has one – and very successful it is, too – called Bears Perth.
(Oh, NOW I see where you are going with this!)
Yes, friends, since the announcement of the NRL’s newest team, the Perth Bears, the existing – and don’t you forget it – Perth club for Bears has had a few people getting their wires crossed – though mercifully not, as yet, worse. It has been so frustrating that members of “The Cave – the Perth Bears Supporters Group” has had to share a notice from Bears Perth on Facebook:
“Rugby Fans Take Note: Bears Perth is a social group for men, established in 1993 and incorporated as ‘Bears Perth’ in 1997,” the post read. “We are NOT associated with the newly announced NRL club called ‘Perth Bears’. Please do not sign up for membership if you are here to join the rugby club.
“ELIGABILITY (sic): Bears Perth is a social club for male and male presenting people over the age of 18.”
You’ve been told.
Gotta love that city!
Is new Bears chief out of his league?
As to this week’s news that Anthony De Ceglie, the boss of News and Current Affairs at Channel Seven, is leaving the network to return to Perth to be CEO of the Bears it is … interesting, to say the least.
He’s a good man, who I know a little, and there is no doubt he is one of the best connected people in WA, bonded big-time with the people who run the show over there. But, background in that curious beast that is rugba leeg, capable of understanding the nuances of the game? Zero, that I can see.
Newly appointed Perth Bears CEO Anthony De Ceglie.Credit: Peter Rae
Clearly, he will be needing a crash course in what the leaguies in general are pleased to call their “culture”, and specifically in what the Bears are all about. His challenge will be to work out how to re-activate and grow what is a still remarkably devoted Bears fan-base in Sydney, bring enough people in Perth on board to ensure the crowds won’t be embarrassing and make Australia’s first pan-national professional sporting club a success.
De Ceglie has not yet taken up his role, but when I bumped into him this week, he sounded nothing if not upbeat and at least told me: “My most important job is making sure I respect the hard work of the Bears supporters and NRL fans in WA who have been waiting so long for this to happen … More than anything right now, I want to listen to them and hear from them so they know how much I respect them and want them to own this journey. Up the Bears!”
I suspect by “them”, his true point is “not you, Peter” but I have a lot of advice to offer anyway!
Game’s a bogey
How, I hear you ask, could anyone in the White House even contemplate replacing Air Force One – a symbol of prestige and power, wherever it lands in the world – with a $US400 million jet given by Qatar, personally, to Donald Trump, allowing him to keep it when his presidency is mercifully over?
Well, Trump himself provided his own answer mid-week, with a curious sporting anecdote.
“There was an old golfer named Sam Snead,” Trump said. “Did you ever hear of him?”
Go on, we’re absorbed.
Sam Snead at the 2000 Open Championship at St Andrews.Credit: PA Images via Getty Images
“He had a motto”, Trump continued. “When they give you a putt, you say, ‘Thank you very much’. You pick up your ball and you walk to the next hole. A lot of people are stupid. They say, ‘No, no, I insist on putting it’. Then they putt it, they miss it, and their partner gets angry at them.”
Oh. NOW we get it!
Making America Great Again – no, but seriously – now includes their President accepting a gift worth half-a-billion dollars, and not blinking. Air Force One will now become a symbol of naked graft and corruption. Even many of Trump’s supporters have called it out as unacceptable.
What They Said
Martin Luai, father of Jarome, on Instagram, after the Tigers succumbed 64-0 to the Storm, in an appalling performance: “Get out clause activated.” Surely not, when Jarome is the “Mr Team First” of Sydney?
Betoota Advocate headline on Monday: “Sydney Therapists Find Themselves Learning A Lot About Wests Tigers Rugby League Club This Week.”
Jarome Luai and his father’s Instagram postCredit: Getty/Instagram/Aresna Villanueva
Rory McIlroy playing with house money now that he clinched the career grand slam: “I have achieved everything that I’ve wanted. I have done everything I’ve wanted to do in the game. I dreamed as a child of becoming the best player in the world and winning all the majors. I’ve done that. Everything beyond this, for however long I decide to play the game competitively, is a bonus.”
Pope Leo XIV is a keen tennis player and a fan of AS Roma soccer club, according to Father Joseph Farrell, Vicar General of the Augustinians: “He’s a regular tennis player. He would come up and play on our grounds once a week at least. He’s (AS) Roma all the way.” Interesting. God himself, of course, is known to be a very keen sports follower, given how often he is personally credited with allocating goals, tries, medal and great victories.
PETA vice president Mimi Bekhechi called for the Broncos to send their much-loved live mascot – an actual horsie – Buck, to pasture: “We’d like to ask you to retire the live horse mascot, Buck, and move away from imagery such as bucking broncos, which glorifies rodeos. You could even change your name to something far more inspiring, perhaps the Brisbane Boomerangs …”
Former AFL player/commentator Luke Darcy on why he stopped commentating: “I just felt like there were some other chapters of passion I wanted to pursue. Can I buy back all that time? Would I regret not calling another 100 AFL games? No. Would I regret not jumping into that pond and having a crack … bit of the unknown, stuff I love, trying to build something I’ve been working on. It’s nice to do it on your own terms. You don’t get to do that too often in that space. You normally get sacked.”
Virat Kohli on retiring from Test cricket: “It’s been 14 years since I first wore the baggy blue in Test cricket. Honestly, I never imagined the journey this format would take me on. It’s tested me, shaped me, and taught me lessons I’ll carry for life . . . I’ve given it everything I had, and it’s given me back so much more than I could’ve hoped for.”
Ange Postecoglou on his team making next week’s final of the Europa Cup, whatever that is: “I could be sitting here fifth last year [in the Premier League], fifth this year and OK, maybe people wouldn’t be waiting for the white smoke to see if it’s my last one but they’d still be saying ‘that’s great but it’s been done before – until this club wins something you haven’t made an impact’. I knew that is what my tenure is going to be judged and measured on.”
Former Kiwi Test forward Elijah Taylor: “A lot of people are asking me what’s wrong with ‘Madge’ [Michael Maguire], what’s wrong with the Broncos. One, his intensity. I’ve never seen a coach ride the game so hard. After a win, the world is a better place. After a loss, you’re off to a funeral and someone will be getting cooked at the video session. Two, training methods. Ninety-five per cent of the time on the field it’s full contact. Three, time efficiency. Let’s have a meeting for a meeting for a meeting. I’d get home from training and the kids don’t know who I am any more. Hardly home.” One of the Broncos players, Marty Taupau, liked the post on social media. Smoke expected to appear from the Broncos roof, shortly.
Taniela Tupou to the Herald’s Jonathan Drennan: “Sometimes, I go out there, and I finish the game, and I’m like, ‘F— me, do I know how to play rugby any more, or what?’” Taniela? Go back to the weight you were at Twickenham in November. That day you were the best in the world.
Team of the Week
Swans. Come back John Longmire. We hardly knew ye.
GWS. Stirring win by the Giants at Geelong.
Wallaroos. Lost the opening match of the Pacific Four Series to NZ. Next up is USA on Saturday in Canberra.
Ange Postecoglou. As noted by the Herald’s Vince Rugari, last year the Australian said “usually in my second season I win things”. Asked about this last September, he said, “I’ll correct myself – I don’t usually win things, I always win things in my second year. Nothing’s changed.” His team is now in the Europa Cup Final next week!
