What a sporting week!
All in the space of a few days we have had a magnificent Ashes Test – even if this time the baddies won – some extraordinary tennis at Wimbledon; an Australian doing well in the Tour de France; a couple of great NRL matches, and NSW finally troubling the scorer in the Origin series, even if it clearly was a pity they had saved the Best till last. And yes, there was the disappointment of the Wallabies flailing and failing against the Boks, but we’ll get over it.
What I treasured most were the displays of character and personality throughout, far more than the mere results. You Canberra Raiders who organised the try celebration mimicking the stumping of Jonny Bairstow? Bravo. Seriously, bravo. Such fun. And the fact that it drove Piers Morgan mad was a wonderful bonus.
And then there was Mark Wood in the English cricket team. The all-rounder – you heard me – was a cross between Ian Botham, Rowan Atkinson and a stick of dynamite. Displaying deadpan brilliance throughout, on and off the field, he was simply wonderful to watch.
The best yarn, however, was the No.76 woman tennis player in the world, Ukraine’s Elina Svitolina going into the quarter-finals against the world No.1 Iga Swiątek – in Svitolina’s second major since coming back from maternity leave three months ago, at which point she was 1300th in the world – and WINNING. What a lift for Ukraine. Svitolina has caused a little controversy with one stance she has taken this tournament, but who can blame her?
“I already said multiple times,” she told the press, “that until Russian troops are out of Ukraine and we take back our territories, I’m not going to shake hands [with Russian or Belarusian players]. I have clear statement. I don’t know how more clear I can be.”
Nup. Bravo, the lot of them.
And in coming weeks, in these parts, let’s hope we see lots of Waltzing . . .
Diamond’s Italian competition raises questions
Now here’s something weird. Michael Diamond, you will recall, is the troubled dual Olympic gold medallist who in 2018 had his gun licence revoked for 10 years after being convicted of drink-driving and firearms offences – though the latter convictions have since been quashed.
Though he appealed that ban earlier this year with the Civil and Administrative Tribunal, the Police Commissioner’s representatives asserted it should not be overturned, arguing that there had been “domestic incidents involving the applicant 12 times between 2003 and 2021,” showing “a lack of self-control and this poses a risk to public safety.”
Gold medal-winning shooter Michael Diamond.Credit: Paul Harris
The Tribunal agreed, and upheld the ban, determining that it would be “contrary to the public interest”, for Diamond to hold a firearms licence. So, how is it that Diamond competed in the Italian Open Green Cup a fortnight ago?
I have established that he was certainly not representing Shooting Australia, and they only found out about it when Australian shooters there so informed them. Certainly, there is no need to have a gun licence from Australia to compete in Italy, but given that Diamond shot well and claimed on social media to have his favourite gun “Betsy” with him, it was curious that with no gun licence he was able to – presumably – transport Betsy there from Australia.
And yet, I have found upon inquiry, it is possible to so transport a gun so long as you go through an official process with the relevant authorities. As for training, the only explanation can be that he pursued the “When in Rome” option, but it was an extraordinary effort to get up to speed so fast.
To clear up the confusion, I called Diamond late last week:
Fitz: “Michael, Peter FitzSimons from the Herald.”
Diamond: “Yes?”
Fitz: “Can I ask you a question?”
Diamond: (No reply.)
Fitz: “Can I ask you how it is that, despite being prohibited from holding a gun licence, you competed in Italy last week?”
Diamond: “Not at all.” (Hangs up.)
Well, I never. Rude!
Rugby boys – and Dads – keeping the spirit alive
As discussed, it was an ordinary week for Australian rugby at the elite level, but happily, down at the grassroots, the game goes on. Even as we speak, a pod of Chatswood Rugby’s finest young teens (and their Dads) are engaged in one of the grandest traditions of the game: going on a rugby tour to that strange land where ferocity on the pitch is only equalled by warmth and hospitality off it.
New Zealand!
When the “Stags and Highlanders” first played at the High School Old Boys Club in Christchurch their hosts decided the visitors’ dressing room was not good enough for them. No, let them have their home dressing room so the Chatswood lads could sit in the same seats as All Black legends, their names on the wall – Andrew Mehrtens, Dan Carter and Richard Loe.
Of course, being NZ it was so windy, wet and muddy that by game’s end it was hard to determine who was who, but no matter. The lads from opposite sides of the ditch showered together, rinsing off muck, singing songs and swapping yarns. And now to the pies, burgers and soft drinks, before marvelling how their hosts have mastered saying words like “falafel” without using a single vowel. Ah, how the boys chrtld!
As is the way, there were speeches, exchanges of beanies and jerseys, and thanks for coming. The lads got the same warm reception at Culverden and Kaikoura and will shortly go up against Christchurch Rugby Club – home of the great Richie McCaw. In that one, the expectation is their opponents will be offside.
In between there have been amateur boxing matches after lights out, karaoke on the bus, a search for two lost credit cards and one missing tooth. And yes, of course, there has been a fair measure of sneaking out of the hotel late at night and carrying on into the wee hours, raising hell, but that, too, is traditional – and is just the Dads, after all.
Who’s been winning? Well, the honours have been split, but it is a little beside the point. The lads are having the time of their young lives, and the game goes on!
How the RLPA v NRL stoush will end
So, who is right, and who is wrong in the current stand-off between the players and the NRL over their pay dispute?
The players are right and want only a fairer share of the money their play is generating. What is interesting though is the growing player awareness of the industrial might they have if they exercise it – which has never been their strong suit over the decades.
It will resolve, I am told, this way: “V’landys will fly in this week from his fortnight overseas, concede some points to the players which will cut Andrew Abdo off at the knees, and the headlines will be along the lines of ‘V’landys does it again!’”
Peace in our time.
Greyhounds racing’s push for involvement from children
As you might recall, TFF has had many goes at the abysmal “sport” of greyhound racing over the years. It is a barbarous industry which sees this gentle breed running in circles with shocking injury rates and often appalling ends when they slow down, all so mug punters can blow their dough.
It has been shamed into shutting down in most parts of the world as it should be. Somehow, because of a very effective lobby group, NSW is a holdout. To try to extend their survival longer, Greyhound Racing NSW has launched a marketing campaign to get people under 60 interested. No, seriously.
This week, part of the program was to get kids leading greyhounds out at Wentworth Park, and gushing “Happy Little Handlers stole the show once again last night . . . We can’t wait to see you leading out your own greyhounds one day!”
Seriously? Spare us. Nationally last year in greyhound racing, the Coalition For the Protection of Greyhounds reports, there were 227 track deaths, plus 10,592 injuries. And in every state bar WA, every dog that breaks a leg is euthanised, rather than treated. And you want your kids around this?
Rory McIlroy remains wary of LIV Golf.Credit: Getty
WHAT THEY SAID
The English commentator when England hit the winning runs at Headingley: “They go to Old Trafford 2-1 down, but the Ashes alive, and Test cricket alive.” Ne’er a truer word spoken.
Rory McIlroy: “If LIV Golf was the last place to play golf on Earth, I would retire. That’s how I feel about it. I’d play the majors, but I’d be pretty comfortable.”
The SMH headline above Andrew Webster’s piece summed up Origin III perfectly: “Blues waltz their way to victory just when it matters least.”
Ange Postecoglou at his first Tottenham press conference: “For me to come from where I’ve come, and be sitting here today, I needed to have that instinct to know when to move on because I’ve had to be faultless in my career to get here – that’s because no one’s going to rate an Australian manager, are they?” A hint of hubris, but good luck to him.
The Belarusian, Victoria Azarenka, on the Wimbledon crowd booing her after losing a thriller to Ukraine’s Elina Svitolina, and not waiting for her at the net: “What should I have done? Stayed and waited? She doesn’t want to shake hands with Russian, Belarusian people. I respected her decision.” Azarenka thought it unfair which is . . . fair enough. But so is the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
Umpire John Blom in the middle of a match at Wimbledon: “Ladies and gentlemen, if you are opening a bottle of champagne, don’t do it as the players are about to serve.” And would those of you have just joined us from the Long Room – you pompous prats – please pipe down?
New York Times editors, to the newsroom on why they are dismantling their own sports department and taking coverage from The Athletic: “We plan to focus even more directly on distinctive, high-impact news and enterprise journalism about how sports intersect with money, power, culture, politics and society at large. At the same time, we will scale back the newsroom’s coverage of games, players, teams and leagues.” They are playing my song!
Told yers. This is what I wrote in these pages four years ago: “Bradman Best. Did you ever hear a name more perfectly suited to Australian sporting fame than this ’un? The 18-year-old who has dominated his peers in age-specific rugby league representative teams, makes his debut for the Knights tonight against the Tigers.” On Wednesday night, Best scored two tries on Origin debut.
UK PM Rishi Sunak to Albo: “I’m sorry, I didn’t bring my sandpaper with me.”
English netballer Eleanor Cardwell to her Adelaide Thunderbirds teammates in the closing moments of the grand final: “All right girls, listen up. I’ve asked for heart – we’ve got the heart. Now we need to do the f—ing hard work – we look at each other and we give each other f—ing ball! Heart and gut – let’s go!” Gawd help me, I LOVE that kind of talk.
Eddie Jones on the Springbok smashing of his debutant Wallabies: “In cricket parlance, it’s like a debutant batsman playing against the West Indies with four pacemen. The ball is zinging around your head the whole time. You’re just ducking and weaving and trying to survive. They survived, and they’ll be better next game.” The analogy is two or three decades out of date but, yes, we get the drift.
Australia captain Alyssa Healy after a T20 loss to England as part of the women’s Ashes: “England out-braved us and batted really well.”
Ellie Carpenter and the Matildas are ready for action.Credit: Getty
TEAM OF THE WEEK
Matildas. Let the games begin! Our women play the opening match of the World Cup, against Ireland in Sydney this Thursday evening.
England. Won the third Test of the Ashes, helping make this series even more enthralling. Could it end up being 2-2 heading to the Oval for the final Test? Hope not, but…
Wallabies. Get back on the horse tonight against Argentina, after being bucked badly in Pretoria.
Adelaide Thunderbirds. Won their first Super Netball championships after a thrilling extra-time victory over the NSW Swifts.
Mark Wood. The English all-rounder, a real character, was a sensation in the third Test with his strike rate of 250 being the “highest in history for anyone facing more than 10 balls in a single Test match.” He finished the match having snared seven wickets for just 100 runs, and got 40 runs from facing sixteen balls.
