Usually, we reserve ratings for players’ on-field performances.
But there were plenty of high scores for Geelong players as they let their (grey) hair down at the Wharf Shed in their latest Mad Monday masterclass.
We highlight the brilliant efforts and rate them out of 10.
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Isaac Smith, Patrick Dangerfield, Gary Rohan, Sean Higgins, Tom Hawkins, Joel Selwood, Rhys Stanley, Mark Blicavs, Zach Tuohy, Mitch Duncan and Sam Menegola
Perfect. The oldest ever VFL/AFL premiership side delivers a flag — and at the pub. Zimmer frames, grey hair and bakerboy caps were all on point, while the teapots and cups were a lovely addition. It all came after the group arrived in a retirement home bus. Dangerfield revealed it was all the captain’s idea from last Wednesday — three days before the big game! Selwood’s Instagram caption said it all: “Better make the most of today, not sure if we’ll make the 10-year reunion.” 10
Brandan Parfitt
The premiership sub came as Nick Kyrgios. Strong effort with the wristband, sleeve and heavy Nike branding. Lack of hat cost him, plus there was a strong opportunity to go all white following Kyrgios’ Wimbledon heroics. 8
Jeremy Cameron
Was odds-on to rock up as an animal, but shocked the footy world when he snubbed the cow costume for a chicken set-up. Inspired choice, complete with beak, flippers and ample eggs — allegedly”freshly made” — to hand out to awaiting reporters. He claimed: “After a couple of big nights, I had to sleep in the chicken coop anyway and here I am. They didn’t lay for six months and now they’re on fire!” 9
Toby Conway
The first-year ruckman slotted into the Cats festivities with aplomb. A natural redhead nicknamed ‘Chilli’, we thought he’d come as a Sriracha sauce bottle — an inspired choice to don a green top hat to represent the lid. But he actually just came as a chilli because whenever he trains or gets embarrassed he “goes really red”. However it’s a tight suit — and we’ve strategically cropped the above picture from waist up. 8
Jake Kolodjashnij and Brad Close
Bold move from one of Geelong’s gun small forwards to go with the John Daly gut. Fake beard a bit too Santa Claus-like. Caddy Kolodjashnij, like he was in defence during the finals series, with a very solid effort. 7
Cooper Whyte
The 2021 draftee was a bit hit on Mad Monday AFL debut, coming as UFC star Paddy ‘The Baddy’ Pimblett. Nailed it. 9
Tyson Stengle
Wasn’t quite sure who he’d dressed up like, telling the Cats website he was a “local bball player … to be honest I only woke up 15 minutes ago”. Still looked sharp though. 7
Jed Bews
Came as club football boss Simon Lloyd. Nothing too exciting upon entry, but Dangerfield told SEN from inside the festivities Bews had been walking around all day “just reminding blokes to be on their best behaviour” in a dig at Lloyd. Bews revealed he even went to Simon’s house and picked up his own clothes to wear. 7
Cameron Guthrie and Zach Guthrie
The older brother was wearing a Detroit Red Wings jersey … but the younger Zach was a strong lookalike for superstar footballer Erling Haaland. So we’re just grading Zach … 8
Shannon Neale
Told the club’s website he had a “wardrobe malfunction” earlier in the day, so panicked and came as Cameron Ling … wearing No. 35. 6
Sam Simpson
Smart move to come as a parking inspector, for no Cats player that rocked up to the Wharf Shed would’ve driven there. Otherwise he would’ve been very unpopular. 7
Jack Henry and Tom Stewart
Great effort from the key defensive duo as Daft Punk. Perfect mask replicas. Missed opportunities to have leather jackets or suits. 8
And Max Holmes, Tom Atkins and Gryan Miers
We weren’t quite sure what these guys’ intentions were …
