TFF heard a whisper this week that Rugby Australia was looking to sell out and go down the path of private equity becoming involved with the sport.
The whisper had it that coach Eddie Jones was pushing them to sell equity in the Wallabies in order to buy NRL players so we could win the 2027 World Cup under his coaching regime.
Such a thing would fit with the Saudi Arabian tactics of pumping money into sport worldwide as part of their sports-washing campaign a la LIV golf. It also fitted with a report by Zoe Samios in the Financial Review on Friday that new RA CEO Phil Waugh wants to raise $250 million by “selling 20 per cent of the code’s broadcast rights to private equity”.
Where it doesn’t fit is with the madness in Australian rugby gorging itself on Saudi Arabian blood money. In my view, if it happened, the game in this country would lose half of its remaining support overnight and it ultimately would destroy the code. The values of rugby that make people gravitate to it – community, decency, inclusiveness, one-in-all-in, Australian-ness – are as far from the values of the Saudi government as it is possible to get. The Oz rugby community would rightly revolt.
Happily, when I put the rumour to Waugh and the Chair of Rugby Australia, Hamish McLennan, the latter at least strongly denied it.
“Fitz,” he replied, from South Africa, “It’s absolutely not true.”
Good. I repeat: if ever they went back on that commitment, it would be The End.
Eddie Jones explains a drill to his Wallabies forwards on Coogee Beach this week.Credit: Getty
Ollie chose the wrong man to attack
Which brings us to the Ollie Robinson “send-off” of Usman Khawaja, after knocking his off-stump out of the ground, after our bloke had anchored the Australian first innings with a staggering 141 runs.
I thought it to be a little . . . awkward.
Play it again, Sam. As the off-stump cartwheeled, the English fast bowler kept charging down the pitch, yelling at the departing Australian, “F–k off you f—ing p–k!”
Robinson later defended his actions by saying everybody wants sporting theatre, so he is happy to oblige by providing it. But you can see the problem already, yes?
If you are going to use that a piece of sporting theatre, the only way to make it fit is for the line to be delivered by one who has just bested a bullying rival who comes complete with a nasty bent; one who has sent the underperforming bully to the far pavilions whence he came, after giving the brute a lesson he’ll never forget.
In that case, we might forgive the baseness of the epithet – three cusses in a five-word sentence, one of them repeated, with nary the barest hint of wit – on the grounds that the bully got what he deserved.
Ollie Robinson exchanges words with Usman Khawaja on the final day of the first Test.Credit: Getty
But this was not that.
This was the upstart Robinson who’d been belted all over the ground, to the bloke who Ricky Ponting says is “probably the nicest man that’s ever walked on the planet!”
I contend that it made Robinson look to be the vulgar gutter snipe on the stage while enhancing the view of Khawaja as a good fellow and fine batsman passing by in a fine carriage of his own humble construction. On hearing the line, we, the audience, feel for the good man, and glare at the gutter snipe.
It was remarkably similar to Robinson’s next sneer that the Australian batting line-up had “three No.11s”. And Robinson’s own average with Test bat in hand, is just 12!
Credit:
In terms of sporting theatre, will we recall either the epithet or the sneer in two or three decades, the way we do Steve Waugh’s reported line to South Africa’s Herschelle Gibbs in the 1999 World Cup when he dropped a sitter from Waugh that would have changed the entire game: “Hersch, you’ve just dropped the World Cup”?
See, that line is so witheringly strong, so perfect for the occasion, and such a wonderful comeback – after Gibbs had greeted Waugh’s entrance with Australia at 3/48 chasing 271 runs with “Let’s see how he takes the pressure now” – that it is endlessly repeated, even though both Waugh and Gibbs agree that it was never said!
It is simply what should have been said.
In sum?
Good golly, Mister Ollie.
Be better than that. And stop being so rude.
Ponting hits Pietersen for six
Loved this. Here on the TV at the conclusion of Day 4 of the first Ashes Test was Kevin Pietersen, pontificating to Ponting, Ricky: “Joe Root owned the game. He ran the game, he was pure quality, and he just owned that space, with [Australia] scratching their heads going ‘what do we do?’”
Ponting, on the front foot, cracks it through the covers for four in reply: “Well, he’s out now. He got 40.”
Keeping up with the Johnses
Which brings us to the brotherly feud between Matthew and Andrew Johns. Matthew, as you know, is as clever a commentator as Andrew was a brilliant footballer.
By all reports, Andrew has been feeling on the dark side of things because Matthew does not share his detestation of all things Queensland and even finds things to admire in the approach of the Maroons. Andrew, in fact, said as much on air when, before Origin I, Matthew expressed open admiration for Queensland coach, Billy Slater.
Said Andrew to his “bruvva”: “Mate, I’m sick of you rapping Queensland, that’s what I’m sick of. You’re blowing smoke up their backsides . . .”
Which brings us, as if you hadn’t picked it already, to the etymology of that curious expression of “blowing smoke up their backsides”.
Strangely, that very thing was the actual medical practice four centuries ago to wake someone in a coma, or who had just drowned. After a nozzle with a tube attached was inserted in the rectum, the doctor would blow the hot smoke. If that didn’t wake them, nothing would. For the record, just such an implement was found in the wreckage of the Batavia – thank you, I know – which sank off Australian shores in 1629.
What They Said
Ollie Robinson on giving Usman Khawaja a foul-mouthed send-off : “We’ve all seen Ricky Ponting and other Aussies do the same to us. Just because the shoe is on the other foot, it’s not received well. We want that theatre of the game, so I’m here to provide it.”
Queensland coach Billy Slater with the anti-Michael Clarke, when asked if he saw himself in Reece Walsh: “No. I see Reece Walsh in him. He’s his own player. He’s not anyone else. He’s very unique to himself.” On the TV it looked to me like Reece Walsh was playing on fast-forward, while some of the Blues defence was in slo-mo.
Mark “Spud” Carroll, in the wake of the loss, when asked what he made of it: “I’m too upset to think about that right now. I hate losing. What I will say is any Queenslander who steps into my gym today is getting bashed.”
Jarome Luai on the episode, including headbutting Reece Walsh, which saw him sent off with Walsh with a minute to go in Origin II: “There was a bit of passion, [me] being a sore loser. It’s disappointing. I hate to lose.” Later that night in response to social media attacks on him by the mob, Luai posted a photo of himself sitting with his back to some goal-posts above his caption: “Chill. All you idiots have work tomorrow morning.” It was followed by seven laughing emojis.
Madame Butterfly Susie O’Neill on turning 50 in August: “I can’t believe I’m turning 50, I still feel exactly the same as I did at the Sydney Olympics 23 years ago . . . bit of a milestone.”
The 19-year-old Spaniard, Carlos Alcaraz, on who is best equipped to challenge 36-year-old Novak Djokovic at Wimbledon: ” [Nick] Kyrgios has already played a final in Wimbledon, and he’s very good on grass as well. I am not saying that I am not capable of beating Djokovic, but I think I have less chances than on other surfaces. I think that Kyrgios has more chance to defeat Djokovic than any other player.”
Kyrgios on Djokovic: “I hope he gets 30 [grand slam titles] – it would make me look better because I lost to him at Wimbledon, but it’s an amazing achievement. No one [can stop him]. If it’s not me, no one.”
Novak Djokovic after winning the French Open.Credit: Getty
Spanish footballer Dani Carvajal on winning the Nations League with a Panenka: “We had confidence with the penalties and it went well, I knew how I was going to shoot it, and I knew I was going to be sixth. I wanted to take it ‘Panenka’ style and it went well.”
Emma Raducanu on winning the 2021 US Open as an 18-year-old to be the Next Big Thing, only to not win since: “Since then I’ve had a lot of setbacks, one after the other. I am resilient, my tolerance is high, but it’s not easy. And sometimes I think to myself ‘I wish I’d never won the US Open, I wish that didn’t happen’. Then I am like, ‘remember that feeling, remember that promise’, because it was completely pure.”
Matilda, Clare Wheeler: “But I remember I said to myself – by the age of 25 it was either I’d made the Matildas or I would focus on my career as a professional. I think that forced me to go all in – and now I’m here.”
Team of the Week
Australian cricket team. Superbly led by captain Patrick Cummins, they won the first Ashes Test in an absolute thriller.
Queensland. The sun rises, the sun sets. Winter comes. Queensland wins the Origin. Again.
Billy Slater. There’s something about that bloke. As player and coach, he’s now been involved in ten wins from fifteen series.
NRL contracts. Titans coach Justin Holbrook replaced for Des Hasler, while Ben Hunt wants to leave the Dragons two years before his deal ends. Just another day in the NRL.
Chiefs and Crusaders. Meet in another all-NZ Super Rugby Final. Sigh.
Cristiano Ronaldo. First men’s soccer star to play in an extraordinary 200 international matches.
Wyndham Clark. Won golf’s US Open, just shading Rory McIlroy.
@Peter_Fitz
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