Does the question “Have you submitted your tips?” prompt you to scramble for your tipping app? If so, you’re likely hoping you’re still a chance of winning your work or local pub competition.
My tips are in, but I hold no hope of seeing my tipping name up high. You see, I’m not only at the bottom of the tipping competitions I’ve entered but, a couple of weeks ago, I found myself in the lowest 0.001 per cent of everyone on the popular FootyTips app.
Vivienne Pearson’s terrible run in the footy tipping this year meant of nearly 800,000 on FootyTips, only 66 people we’re doing worse.
To be precise, I was ranked 793,058th out of 793,124 tippers. When it comes to tipping winners, only 66 people out of more than three-quarters of a million are doing worse than me. To my surprise, instead of sorrow or embarrassment, this shocking result brought me joy.
This is probably a good moment to confess that, despite being a diligent tipper, I’m not that into AFL. As a kid, I scrutinised the ladder on the back page of The Age, but never went to a game. My nominal identification as a Hawthorn supporter lasted until I realised I couldn’t name a player more current than Johnny Platten (fun fact: he owned the pub where I celebrated my 21st birthday). After moving north in my 40s, I became a Gold Coast Suns member for a couple of years to support my family’s love of the game.
I reckon I’ve tipped around eight seasons over the past 20 years. I’ve tipped in workplace competitions that rated the glory of winning more highly than almost any other career achievement. Serious tipsters will be horrified to hear that one year, after being cajoled into entering, I tipped an entire season before the first kick.
Once tipping via phone apps became mainstream, I joined a competition run by a friend, then a second one after some nephews and nieces became teenagers (and clearly wanted yet another way to interact with their phones).
I’ve never done well with tipping, though an occasional week of eight or nine correct tips prolongs a sense of optimism. As I don’t follow footy news, listen to post-game press conferences or check injury lists before each round, I’m not expecting to do well. But even tossing a coin to choose tips randomly would give a better outcome than my efforts.
I generally tip based on a combination of gut instinct and a bias towards home teams, especially when the game is played outside Victoria. I like tipping teams I have some loyalty to – Richmond, Hawthorn, the Suns and North Melbourne – but even I know enough about these teams’ current form not to do this at the expense of reality.
As the season progresses, I pay attention to the team’s placement on the ladder but like to throw in at least one curveball each round, hoping to benefit from an upset result. I choose the margin of the first game each week by spinning the rolling numbers within the app like it’s a wheel of fortune.
This random approach could potentially have served me well in the first couple of rounds this year, as I’m told picking winners was wildly unpredictable even for those with deep footy knowledge. Luck was not with me though as, in round one, I only managed to tip one game correctly. Yep, that’s one out of nine games.
The FootyTips app, which is generally encouraging in its messaging, could not have been more brutal. “Terrible Tipping” was the harsh-but-fair judgment.
I managed to get three tips right in round two, picked two winners in round three, and it was after round four I noticed just how close I was to being the worst tipster on the app. Some would give up after such failures yet my reaction was laughter and a sense of relief.
I decided to keep tipping. I figure it’s almost impossible to tip worse than this, so all weight of expectation has lifted. I now genuinely do not care how badly I tip. Yet, I’ve realised I do care about footy tipping.
For starters, it feels fabulous to be so bad at something. More importantly, I realise that tipping is ultimately a social activity so participating brings to mind recent research that shows connections with others play a significant role in warding off dementia.
I’m not suggesting that footy tipping is equivalent to meeting up with friends or having someone to confide in, but it is one small way to create a weekly sense of connection. And that’s important to me, even if that connection focuses on being laughed at for my terrible tipping!
Vivienne Pearson is a freelance writer whose writing lives at viviennepearson.com
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