O flower of Scotland, when will we see, your like again?
Hopefully next week – but not this ’un!
The Wallabies’ two wonderful performances to date on this spring tour have saved the farm. The buzz around the joint, the ratings, the happy chatter has conclusively demonstrated that, despite reports, the Oz rugby community is still intact and will come flooding forward when given half a sniff of half a chance of having something to celebrate.
The next two Tests are their chance to put Australian rugby back where it belongs, a point of pride for much of the nation.
But, Scotland first!
Obviously, it will not be easy. Scotland are a much stronger team than Wales, and more successful in recent times than England. And even in downtimes, taking on the Scots at Murrayfield has ever and always been a very difficult combination to conquer, as they are ever inclined to do there what they once did to “proud Edward’s Army . . . and send them homewards, tae think again.”
Against that, look at the quality of the players we have, who have suddenly emerged on our side of the equation, how well they are playing, and the commitment they have to winning, come what may. It is difficult to believe that they are the same team that stumbled around so disastrously during last year’s World Cup – and in several key ways they’re not.
Tom Wright races away for a try in the first half.Credit: Getty Images
For, this time last year, inside-centre Len Ikitau was judged by Eddie Jones as not good enough to be in the top 30 players in Australia! Ditto, fullback Tom Wright. They stayed home with Michael Hooper while Eddie blooded players, many of whom have not been seen since.
And yet now that the likes of “Flickitau” and Wright have been given their chance by coach Joe Schmidt, both have revealed themselves to be world-class. And while Wright, of course, will have to have the ball bounce his way to be able to threaten Mark Ella’s famous record of scoring a try in every Test of the grand slam as he did 40 years ago, let the record show that with one try against England and three against Wales, he has already averaged a try per Test on the grand slam tour.
Up front, the forward pack is playing more powerfully than they have in many years and Will Skelton, particularly, has given the engine-room one of the most powerful engines in world rugby. Should we beat Scotland, Rugby Australia must approach Skelton’s French club, La Rochelle, and beg – I mean beg – for him to be released for longer than the three weeks they are obliged to every year under International Rugby Board regulations.
In the meantime, stand by sports fans. If they beat Scotland and a grand slam is in the offing for the first time in 40 years, the Australian rugby world will be aflame.
In the red: CA’s bottom line in freefall
You and me, babe.
Now that the Test cricket has started, it feels like all the mumbo-jumbo of the other (sniff) Mickey Mouse cricket is over, and summer must be just about upon us, as the real stuff begins. That’s because for you and me, we could barely bring ourselves to watch, let alone care about the other stuff, even with a gun to our head. We were raised on Test cricket and for us that is the only thing that counts – while keenly aware that we are now in the minority and that for the younger generations, red-ball cricket can be a by-word for tedious. Through this schism of tastes, Cricket Australia must try and guide the game.
How well are they doing at it? Prima facie, I’d say they are struggling. For, friends, a quick glance at the Cricket Australia Annual Reports is a tad on the alarming side of things.
True, they openly acknowledge being in the “down cycle” and are relying on this India tour and the coming Ashes to fill the coffers. Still, look at the figures.
- 2018/19: Revenue $474 mill; Player Payments $104 mill. Profit – $18.2 mill
- 2020/21: Covid, so lets leave it.
- 2021/22: Revenue $391 mill; Player Payments $108 mill. Loss – $10.6 mill.
- 2022/23: Revenue $422 mill; Player Payments $143 mill. Loss – $16.9 mill.
- 2023/24: Revenue $404 mill; Player Payments $148 mill. Loss – $31.9 mill.
Get it? Cricket Australia has lost nigh on $60 million in the last three full seasons! Player payments are blowing out, even as revenue is decreasing, and losses are in freefall. That means trouble. Right here in River City. More on this next week, but right now, it is one to watch.
Kevvie does Dallas
Bravo you, Kevin Sherrington, in your eponymous weekly newsletter in the Dallas Morning News, when it came to nailing down the disgrace of the so-called Mike Tyson/ Jake Paul “fight”. Take it away, heavy Kevvie:
“A classic Jerry Jones production Friday night at JerryWorld: Big build-up, big numbers, big money. Big flop. Mike Tyson should get a star tattoed on each side of his head to match Jerry’s entertainment group. Don’t know why anyone thought a 58-year-old man hospitalised for bleeding ulcers this summer could beat a boxer half his age. Even a poseur like Jake Paul. Both took home fat paychecks but left any shred of credibility in the ring. The real winner? The P.T. Barnum of the 21st century, as usual.
Jake Paul punches Mike Tyson during their heavyweight bout.Credit: Getty Images
“Even as bad as Paul is, a pretend boxer with a wind-up as long as Fernando Valenzuela’s, only without the fastball, he didn’t let the old man get close enough to do any damage. Tyson had neither the gas nor inclination. Back when he earned his billing as the baddest man on the planet, he overwhelmed opponents. Landed 18 punches Friday. Used to do that before four bells, if it lasted that long.”
Circus clowns
Speaking of P.T. Barnum the great American showman and celebrated hoaxer – and originator of the famous aphorism, “There’s a sucker born every minute” – he is indeed precisely the reference point for the Tyson/Paul thing.
“No man ever went broke overestimating the ignorance of the American public,” he once said. “The common man, no matter how sharp and tough, actually enjoys having the wool pulled over his eyes, and makes it easier for the puller. You can fool most of the people most of the time. Nothing draws a crowd quite like a crowd.”
And yes, that also obviously applies to Donald Trump and MAGA, but don’t get me started!
What They Said
This quote from Bill Belichick is, we are informed by my colleague Iain Payten, an inspiration for Wallaby coach Joe Schmidt: “Talent sets the floor, character sets the ceiling.” It was part of Schmidt’s overall theme, that what he is looking for to build a victorious side is, above all, character.
Is Schmidt thinking grand slam at the turn? “Too far away to contemplate, probably.”
Wallaby hooker Matt Faessler after scoring his “Matt-trick” of Test tries against Wales: “I don’t think you’re ever comfortable at Test level. You’re still running out with big metal butterflies flying around your stomach.”
Rafael Nadal before his final competitive match on if he will lose it: “In some ways it is good, maybe, if that was my last match because I lost my first match in the Davis Cup and I lost my last one. We close the circle.” He lost it. The circle, thus, was a very large full stop.
Nadal, straight after the final curtain had fallen: “The titles and numbers are there so people probably know that, but the way I would like to be remembered is being a good person from a small village in Mallorca where I had the luck to have my uncle as a tennis coach.”
US soccer player Christian Pulisic after unleashing the Trump Dance when he scored: “Well obviously that’s the Trump dance. It was just a dance that everyone’s doing. He’s the one who created it. I just thought it was funny.”
Polish footballer Piotr Zielinski on asking Cristiano Ronaldo for a picture after they lost to Portugal: “I don’t see a problem with that. I’m not interested in what happens on social media. For me, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the best footballers in history. I lost the match, so should I hide in the corner? I approached, we took a photo and that’s it. I felt like it.”
Socceroo Mitchell Duke happy to be the centre of the fans’ ire: “Keep the negativity coming my way. I’ll continue to be in the punching bag, I’m sure, because I’m also one of the older ones. I’ve been set up for a while, and is what it is. I don’t let it affect me too much. I’ll just keep battling and doing what I do for the team.”
Patrick Mahomes after the Kansas City Chiefs lost for the first time this season: “I’m hoping that [losing] is a benefit. I’m not going to say I or we relaxed, but at the same time I feel like we were just coming away with these wins at the end of the game.”
Mike Tyson when asked about his legacy: “Well, I don’t believe in the word ‘legacy’.” I think that’s just another word for ‘ego’. Legacy means absolutely nothing to me. I’m just passing through. I’m gonna die and it’s gonna be over. Who cares about legacy after that? We’re nothing. We’re dead. We’re dust.”
Jordan Thompson after being part of the doubles duo to send Australia through to the semi-finals of the Davis Cup: “I was wearing my heart on my sleeve, you know, bleeding green and gold.” A little graphic, but, yes, I guess.
Wally Lewis to those in the league community who want the insane long kick-offs to continue, without being tempered by a rule change: “They’re entitled to their opinion, but let’s see if they come up with a similar response if they’re suffering the same consequences, if they’re the ones being affected by the difficulty and embarrassment of not having a good memory, and being almost too shy to go into public places.”
Team of the Week
Socceroos. Should have beaten both Saudi Arabia and Bahrain and in the end were lucky to draw both. So now just one point separates second from sixth. The last four qualifying matches will be extremely tight and they will have to win two or maybe even three of them to secure direct qualification.
ParaMatildas. The first Australian national football side to become world champions, with victory in the final of the IFCPF Women’s World Cup. CP Football is for athletes with cerebral palsy, or an acquired brain injury.
Kansas City Chiefs. Last week TFF wrote “Still undefeated in this year’s NFL season”. This is no longer the case. To all the Chiefs fans, sorry, not sorry. In any event, the loss will be good for them.
Luke Littler. The 17-year-old darts player just won the Grand Slam of Darts and is now fifth in the world after being 164th a year ago.
Wallabies. Play Scotland in the early hours of Monday morning (AEDT), to hopefully keep their grand slam on track.
AFLW. North taking on Port and its Brisbane against Adelaide in the AFLW preliminary finals
Lucy Hamilton. 18-year-old took 5 for 8 for the Heat in the BBL.
Matildas. Play Brazil next Thursday in Brisbane.
Twitter/X: @Peter_Fitz
