As to the Swans’ collapse in the AFL grand final, I have a quick, quiet theory, based on absolutely no knowledge, just a reckoning – seen through a prism of rugby – that is so embarrassing in its ignorance, it is just amazing it got into print. (Have we got that out of the way? Can I say it now? Hold yourself. Here goes.)
Ummmm, has the fabled “No dickheads” policy been taken too far? Is the team now filled with such nice blokes, who never get out of line, and never raise their voices let alone shirt-collar a teammate, that when things go south like they did last Saturday, there was no one there to lay down the law and say what needed to be said: “#FFS! Contest for the freaking ball! Do something! If we can’t win the match, at least win the fight! If we can’t lift the trophy, at least let’s take a piece of these blokes home with us, to show our mothers.”
Oh don’t panic, it’s organic.
I don’t mean, an actual fight. I mean physicality, ferocity, a desperation to win that would result in more than sagging shoulders, hanging heads and an open freeway for the Lions up to the other end of the field. I mean some gristly bastard with a broken nose holding the others to account, a bloke with so many scars from previous battles it would shame them into action.
And yes, I am being a little theatrically thuggish, but listen to what Swans midfielder – whatever that is – Robbie Fox said after the match.
“It was physical to start with. They came for the fight and we weren’t up to it. Then it turned into a mental game and you just have to be off 1 or 2 per cent. It’s just disappointing to not show up … it’s funny to say we had a great feeling before the game. Everyone was calm and composed.”
Exactly.
Swans midfielder Robbie Fox (in number 42) consoles Isaac Heeney and James Rowbottom.Credit: Getty Images
But the worry for me was not the calm composure before the game, it was the remarkably calm composure during the match, even as the Swans house was burning down around them.
I repeat: #FFS! From 13 points up, to 60 points down at the final whistle? How does that happen, seemingly without a shot fired in anger, if not for too much Hallmark and not enough Hellfire?
Just a thought. And don’t worry, I am indeed about to crawl back under the rock whence I came.
Robbo’s 360-degree view on Goodes
Still on Aussie Rules and this week the news broke that the AFL 360 host Mark Robinson has been sacked. I’ve never met him and know little of his work. But in that brilliant documentary The Final Quarter, which focused on the disgraceful mass racism faced by Adam Goodes, Robinson was the stand-out AFL commentator speaking up and saying what needed to be said, which was that the booing of Goodes every time he touched the ball was simply wrong, and it was hard to conclude it was anything other than racism.
Rabs spins a Cleary yarn
“I don’t like to boast,” the great English writer Somerset Maugham once said, “but I don’t think I could spend half an hour talking to a man about his life without coming away with at least six ideas for short stories.”
Legendary commentator Ray Warren is a great source of rugby league yarns.Credit: NRL Photos
If he’d talked, as I did on Friday, to the great rugby league commentator Ray Warren, now 81, and retired for three years, he would have come away with at least a baker’s dozen. The yarns! The colour! The great finals he has seen and called in a career that actually spanned seven decades! In an interview to be published in The Sun-Herald tomorrow, among other things I asked Ray to name the greatest grand final he’d ever seen or called … and the dullest. He also gave his expert view on who was the greatest player of the lot, which led to this exchange.
Fitz: “And where does that leave Penrith’s superstar, Nathan Cleary? How do you rate him among the players you’ve seen?”
RW: “Well, I think he’s already up in the top five. I read with interest the other day somebody saying that he’s possibly the best footballer ever and that may well come true. Nathan’s just incredible. You’ve only got to go back to last year’s grand final to know how good he is, and what he’s done at the end of this season so far is also a mark of the talent he has, which may see him become the greatest of all time.”
Fitz: “And to the obvious question of the weekend, and never a more obvious man to ask than you: Who’s gonna win the booger?”
RW: “I don’t know that anybody cares about my view, but I think Penrith have been a magnificent side for four years, and I think they will go on and win the premiership for four years in a row …”
Ray was, admittedly, a little distressed to hear that I heartily agreed with him – making him want to reassess. But it’s too late. Lock it in, Eddie.
Penrith to go one better than their three-peat of last year, and have four-on-the-floor in ’24.
Drama series a no-brainer
Back in the day, when TFF first put out the view in public that concussion in football was a serious issue, it was like declaring yourself a vegetarian in Alabama – not quite treason beyond reason, but certainly worthy of having various commentators publicly fart in your general direction. So be it.
Brendan Cowell with Asher Keddie in the ABC series Plum.
Let the record show that in 2024, acceptance that CTE among former footballers is so prevalent that on October 20, ABC TV will premiere the first of six-part fictional series, Plum, about an ex-player for the Cronulla Sharks. In his 50s, he slowly starts to fall apart with mood swings, forgetfulness, wild bursts of anger, all as his family tries to come to terms with the fact that the legendary “Plum” – Peter Lum, the footballer – has a brain that is deteriorating by the month, and there is no way to undo the damage done. The story is written by and features the accomplished thespian Brendan Cowell. Having watched the first two episodes, I can report it is profoundly moving – and will shift the dial on footballers and their families having a good look at what they risk facing if they don’t take concussion seriously. The horror. Oh, the horror.
So far I have noted cameos by Paul Gallen, James Graham, Matt Nable and Spud Carroll, all of whom have performed well.
Watch it!
Five minutes was tough enough
TFF got a great response to my item last week re Noel Cleal’s boast that he had been so impressed by watching Jared Waerea-Hargreaves play rugby union for Norths in 2007, that he had left before full-time. That was nothing, I noted, as then St George coach Roy Masters had come to see me play for Sydney Uni in 1982, and had left before half-time – equally convinced he had seen enough to know my true worth.
By way of adding to the saga, reader Joe Weller sent an interesting note about an episode I had forgotten, first detailed in Larry Writer’s book on the St George dynasty, Never Before, Never Again.
Kevin Ryan became one of the legendary hardmen of rugby league.Credit: John Patrick O’Gready; Frank Albert Charles Burke; Murray/Fairfax Media
See, way back in the early 1960s, St George had heard about a footballing prodigy, Kevin Ryan, playing rugby for the Brisbane Brothers side. A scout flew up and this time saw Ryan play for just five minutes, before he was sent off for thumping the halfback for the Queensland Uni side, knocking him out.
It was enough. St George signed Ryan immediately, and he turned into one of the legendary tough guys of rugby league – playing seven years for St George, three years for the Bulldogs, with two Tests for the Kangaroos along the way.
Oh, and that halfback?
It was none other than Evan Whitton, who became a legend of the Herald and – for the record – the first bloke who suggested I write for this mighty paper, and followed it up with a kind letter insisting on the same, about the time Roy rejected me for St George!
To quote that line from the Big Chill, “That has a certain symmetery”, yes?
What They Said
Rob Howard, friend of the late Newtown Jets President Barry Vining: “I spoke to his family this morning, and Barry literally leapt to his feet to celebrate the win, then had a heart attack and died – it’s extraordinary.” If you gotta go, not a bad way to do it, surely? Sort of, with your boots on?
Greg Baum: “The minimum requirement for a finale to be called great is that it is a contest scored by day-long tension between the combatants on the ground and in the crowd. This one wasn’t. The turning point was the corner of Jolimont Street and Brunton Ave; Sydney might as well not have gone on from there. If there was a mercy rule in footy, it would have been invoked at three-quarter-time.”
Swans fan Damien Cutcliffe, after the crushing loss to the Lions in the AFL grand final: “This is the worst. I honestly feel a bit delirious, it’s been painful since to watch in the second half. I just can’t believe we’re here again. This is the worst of the shocker threepeat we now have. The worst, by far. It has been like a wake over here, we all feel a bit lost.”
Isaac Heeney: “It’s a bit numb at the moment. It’s a tough one, especially when you see them receive it (their medals) and you’re like, ‘We’ve been the best side all year, and we couldn’t match them on the day that really counts’. It’s upsetting.”
Norm Smith medallist Will Ashcroft handballs during the AFL grand final.Credit: Getty Images
Brisbane Lion Will Ashcroft on being the best player in the grand final: “I can’t believe it. As hard as it was to miss last year, I set myself a goal. I set myself a goal in the second half of the year and to come back and play my first finals [series]. To be here and then win it … unbelievable.”
Swans coach John Longmire: “It’s a hard thing to do. We would much rather get in the ring and have a swing than be standing outside looking in.” I respectfully submit, Coach Longmire, that the problem was while your blokes indeed did well to get in the ring, there wasn’t enough swinging. [See item above.]
Ivan Cleary unhappy with the bunker: “It was a terrible decision. And that gives me a lot of anxiety around next week if that official, I think it was Chris Butler … I don’t want to, I shouldn’t say that … but that was wrong, and it’s been happening all year.”
Jared Waerea-Hargreaves didn’t want Nelson Asofa-Solomona banned from the grand final: “I hope he’s not banned, I truly do. It’s why we play, it’s such a physical game. You play that thing in the middle, we’re just out there trying to do our best. They are small margins we talk about. I really hope it doesn’t cost Nelson a grand final.”
Cronulla coach Craig Fitzgibbon: “We’ve just got to listen and there’s a level here, there’s a level in this process that we’ve got to get right and I’m excited for that. So much to look forward to. It just hurts so bad losing … just f—, anyway.”
Former rugby player Kris Kristoffersen, who died this week, was a Rhodes Scholar who studied the English poet William Blake. He once gave the reason why he threw in a promising army career to pursue singing/songwriting: “Blake thought that if you were called by the Divine to be creative, you were obligated. He said that if you buried your talent, sorrow and desperation would pursue you throughout life, and after death, shame and confuse you until eternity. For a young guy like me who wanted to be creative against everybody else’s advice, that was powerful stuff.”
Team of the Week
Will Ashcroft. The Brisbane Lion became the second-youngest winner of the Norm Smith Medal, after playing a blinder, with 30 touches at the age of just 20 years and 145 days.
Michael Maguire’s greatest challenge will be to get Reece Walsh to knuckle down.Credit: Janie Barrett
Michael Maguire. One and done at the Blues, and now heads to the Broncos to replace the sacked Kevvie Walters. Maguire’s first task will be to get Reece Walsh to pull his head in, knuckle down and work – to fulfill the extraordinary potential he clearly has.
Brisbane Lions. Made up for last year’s grand final loss by crushing the Swans.
South Africa. Won the Rugby Championship. We came stone, motherless last. But look, last season was soooooo bad that when you take that as your base, this year has been an improvement!
Wallaroos. Beat Wales and now play South Africa
Melbourne and Penrith. Contest the NRL grand final tomorrow night.
