Bravo the Swannies, who are into their seventh grand final in 20 years – a better record than any other team in the AFL, in terms of just making it to that exalted stage. Alas, of those seven appearances, they’ve only come away with the biscuits twice.
Could there be a little bit of Ewing Theory at play? For those without a clue what this is, it was popularised by American sportswriter Bill Simmons. The essence of the idea is that sometimes teams with superstar players like the great basketballer Patrick Ewing go really well, without actually winning any silverware, UNTIL, that player disappears for whatever reason. Then, instead of collapsing like everyone would reckon, they actually perform better than ever.
Quite why it works like that Simmons didn’t go into, though he did give 30 examples of it working in American sports. I posit that it might be because when you remove the brightest shining bulb in the pack – and everyone else is given their own chance to shine, for a nice bloody change – the collective wattage is greater than the original.
If the Swans win today it will be the exemplar of the phenomenon. See, as brilliant as Buddy Franklin was at his absolute height, the sober truth is that for his decade here – and through no fault of his own, because he was fabulous – the Swans didn’t actually win anything. Without him, the reckoning was that they would struggle badly this season. But they haven’t. Right now, the collective wattage is shining more brightly than it was with Buddy at his best, helped by Isaac Heeney regularly going off like a Catherine Wheel on a dark night.
So, watch. Swans to win, and Australia will have its best example of the Ewing Theory working in the southern hemisphere as well, just sending opposing teams down the gurgler, clockwise, not anti-clockwise, or something like that. And if they can win, to make their victory strike ratio a whole lot more respectable, it really will consolidate the Swans as one of the best sporting teams in Australia, irrespective of sport, both on and off the field.
Please Wallabies, this time help yourselves
That bloody Bledisloe? Fifteen minutes in, and 20 points down, I had that sick feeling that I was going to be present at the death of Australian rugby. We were going to lose by 70 or even 80 points, at home, and next year’s Lions tour, for starters, would collapse, as would all prospects of renewing television broadcast rights. The abyss was beckoning and we were staring into it, from the Gods of the Olympic stadium.
But wait!
Instead of collapsing, the Wallabies steadied, fought back magnificently, and damn near won a Test for the Ages, finally losing 31-28.
All good, then?
Time and again, the Wallabies threw away opportunities by losing lineout ball.Credit: Getty Images
No!
As Joe Schmidt noted, it was still coming second and Australia must move on from being satisfied with noble losses. What is more, despite the wonderful fightback, two things are still giving me the raging irrits: the lineouts and the kick-offs.
Time and again – and again and again, till our noses bled – just when the Wallabies had the throw-in with the ability to put them under pressure, the ball ended up in the All Blacks’ hands. Ditto, and double-ditto, our reception of their kick-offs. In both cases the ball should be ours nine times out of 10, if not 19 times out of 20. And yet in both cases it was an absolute toss-up regarding who was going to end up with it. As you’ll recall, this started from that first kick-off, where the fact we didn’t secure it saw their put-in to the lineout and we were under such devastating pressure from the first they had scored in about 90 seconds.
Not good enough! As I have noted before, rugby teams that can’t win their own lineouts and kick-offs are like carpenters turning up at a building site without a hammer and saw. You can faff about for your life, but in the end you just aren’t going to be able to build anything substantial. And if, despite everything, you still can’t get lineouts working, go to two-man lineouts. A well-organised one is just about impossible to stop and while purists maintain that it is “not good ball”, the fact that it is bloody ball at all is what counts!
Sort it, #FFS!
(Thank you. I have been waiting for a week to have an unpleasant outburst, and feel better for the fact I have now got it out.)
Rugby league is Bernie’s real interest
For my Sunday Q&A this week, TFF interviewed Bernie Fraser, Australia’s most iconic former governor of the Reserve Bank, who served during the administration of no fewer than three prime ministers, in Bob Hawke, Paul Keating and John Howard. The subject was mostly whether or not the RBA should have bloody well dropped interest rates, like the US did last week by half a point, and you’ll be pleased to hear the answer was a resounding “Yes!” Inevitably, however, the conversation turned to football, as Fraser is a such a devotee of rugby league he helped put the Raiders’ finances on an even keel, even while serving as RBA governor. After telling me what a useful hooker this masthead’s own Roy Masters was, back in their days at university together, I got to the last part.
Former RBA governor Bernie Fraser grew up a rugby league tragic.Credit: Alex Ellinghausen
Fitz: Finally, I note that the great football commentator Ray Warren is about your age, and is one of Junee’s other most famous sons, with Laurie Daley. You must have been at school with Ray?
BF: Yeah, we played a lot of tennis and cricket together and went to movies on Friday nights and all those kinds of things.
Fitz: What was he like? Did you talk a lot about football?
BF: No. I don’t think Ray was a great rugby league player. I was totally wrapped up in rugby league and played a lot, but not Ray.
Fitz: He must have been an economics wonk, then, I guess?
BF: No, I wouldn’t go that far either …
JWH’s scouts honour
I was interested to read a piece about Jared Waerea-Hargreaves this week, discussing how he was discovered by the great Manly player and then recruiter Noel Cleal, who had heard of this rugby union prodigy playing for Norths, and had gone to scout him at North Sydney Oval in 2007, wearing sunglasses and a hat.
Roosters prop Jared Waerea-Hargreaves was a “league player playing union” for Norths.Credit: Getty Images
“What did I see in Jared that day? I saw a league player playing union,” Cleal said. “I left before full-time. I’d seen enough and rang his manager that night. We signed Jared the next day.”
Oh yeah? Oh, yeah!
Well, when Roy was coaching the St George Dragons in 1982, he heard about me, and came to scout me at Sydney Uni Oval.
And he left before half-time, not full-time!
(Alas, for a different reason.)
Flipper’s Primary numbers
We of the Cauliflower Club took a table for the 50th Anniversary Dinner of the mighty Primary Club on Wednesday evening at the SCG. As you know, the Primary Club is a fabulous cricket charity whereby members donate $10 every time an Australian cricketer scores a “Golden Duck” and they’ve put more than $8 million over the years to more than 600 disability sporting charities Wonderfully, their two founders, Jon Erby AM and Peter Howarth OAM, were proudly in attendance on the night and hailed by all – as was Daphne Benaud, wife of the late, great Richie Benaud, who was one of only three patrons they have had in that time. The first patron -known in Primary Club tradition as “the 12th Man” – was former NSW governor Sir Roden Cutler and the third was Mark “Tubby” Taylor, who was also front and centre, please umpire.
Primary Club founders Jon Erby and Peter Howath with life member Daphne Benaud.
Highlight of the night was president of the club Jim Maxwell, interviewing the colourful former Australian batter and wicket-keeper, Wayne “Flipper” Phillips, telling stories of his time with the Baggy Green in the early 1980s, before trying his hand at coaching.
The South Australian’s best story was just how tough he found coaching his native state, including a particular catastrophe in 2007 when the Redbacks were all out for 29 runs in a Sheffield Shield match at this very venue.
Disaster! Stumps flying everywhere, every time he looked up!
Back in the dressing room when it was mercifully over, barely an hour after the innings had begun, Flipper was slumped in the corner when there was a knock on the door.
Yes?
It proved to be the NSW Cricket CEO Dave Gilbert, advising that his team was required to do a drug test.
“What for?”
“They are testing for performance-enhancing drugs.”
“Dave, we have just got all out for 29 runs. Do you really think that’s necessary?”
Brought the house down!
What They Said
American captain Jim Furyk takes offence at a question suggesting that the players don’t care about the Presidents Cup, which is happening now: “I don’t hate you but it’s a pretty shitty thing to say. It’s not like I’m killing you right now, but f— you. Go f— yourself. You can quote me on that.” I think he sounds sincere.
American Presidents Cup captain Jim Furyk shows how much he cares.Credit: Getty Images
Allan Alaalatoa on the Wallabies’ comeback against the All Blacks: “To fight like that, that’s what the Australian spirit is all about, and that’s what we’ve lacked in the past. We’re just spewing that we couldn’t do it for our veteran James Slipper.”
Wallabies coach Joe Schmidt: “We can’t finish a close second. There’s some things to be proud about … but giving a New Zealand side a start like that, it’s too tough to overcome that, albeit it almost did happen at the finish. By no means is it back to the drawing board.”
Brisbane Lion Jarrod Berry on coach Chris Fagan: “He’s like our dad, to be honest. I just want to – more than anything – I just want to do it for him and show the haters that he’s a sensational people person, and he’s got all the boys right behind him.” Gawd, I love that kind of talk!
“He’s like our dad”. Brisbane Lions coach Chris Fagan.Credit: AFL Photos via Getty Images
Port Adelaide’s Aliir Aliir after the loss to the Swans: “It’s a shit feeling.”
Max Verstappen on being fined for swearing by the Formula One organisers, which could lead him to hanging up the keys, (if indeed Formula One cars have keys?): “I don’t know how seriously they will take that kind of stuff but for me, at one point, when it’s enough, it’s enough. We’ll see. Everything will go on, I have no doubt. It’s not a problem because Formula One will go on without me, but it’s also not a problem for me. So it’s how it is.”
Australian Formula One driver Daniel Ricciardo on his career winding down: “I put my best foot forward and let’s say maybe the fairytale ending didn’t happen, but I also have to look back on what’s been 13 or so years and, yeah, I’m proud. I’m at peace with it – at some point it comes for all of us.”
Peter V’landys on those wanting to limit sports gambling: “Unfortunately, these people want to run everybody’s lives and force their will upon the majority of people who will never have a gambling problem and who enjoy a flutter – especially considering that less than 1 per cent of Australians will ever have an issue with problem gambling. Nothing makes sense, especially when you consider that problem gambling on lotteries alone is more than problem gambling on both racing and sports.” I call bullshit.
New Socceroos coach Tony Popovic: “I am extremely honoured to be given this opportunity to lead the Subway Socceroos as head coach. It’s a role that comes with great responsibility, and I’m deeply grateful for the opportunity.”
Tony Popovic takes the reins of the Socceroos.Credit: Steven Siewert
Las Vegas Raiders head coach Antonio Pierce after a bad loss: “We got our ass whupped … I would have booed us too.”
Brownlow Medal winner Patrick Cripps: “To everyone in the room and all the players, I love playing against you guys. I love competition. And to the two grand finalists, Brisbane and Sydney, it’s hard to get there. You know, everyone … in this room would love to be there. Good luck. May the best team win. Give it a red-hot crack. Thank you.”
Australian snooker player Neil Robertson – the youngish blond one, you know? – winning the English Open 9-7 after narrowly holding off a late comeback: “You start thinking of potential runner-up speeches and how humble you’re going to have to be after being 8-2 in front.”
Peter V’landys on the supposed NRL/AFL war: “Sometimes they get 23,000 viewers on TV out of Sydney. We get a million. So it’s a bit hard to say that you’re going to take over when you’re that far behind.”
After turmoil in Melbourne as some Channel Nine personalities defect to Seven, Eddie McGuire defends Nine: “End of the season, you get rid of the list-cloggers and you move the new superstars in. That’s what we’re doing … And it’s great that Channel Copycat is just taking something we’ve done for 18 years and putting it on air.”
Wallabies coach Joe Schmidt evaluating the loss to the All Blacks: “You lose a Test match, there’s not a lot of water in the glass.”
Roy Masters in his column about Craig Bellamy: “Nicknamed ‘Bellyache’ from his Canberra days, Bellamy is a glass nearly empty person.”
Team of the Week
Sydney and Brisbane. Contest the AFL Grand Final today. RAH!
Tony Popovic. Good luck to the new Socceroos manager.
Jessica Fox. Australia’s champion claimed the canoe World Cup title as she continues to live her best life.
Cronulla and Penrith. Meet on Saturday night for a spot in the grand final. Penrith will win, before they beat the Storm next week to have an extraordinary Four on the Floor, after last year’s Three-Peat.
Patrick Cripps. Won his second Brownlow
Daniel Ricciardo. Was sacked by his Formula One team, Red Bull, likely ending his decade-long career at the top.
Ed Baxter. Your humble correspondent hears good things about this strapping lock from Shore, now playing for the Australian Schoolboys Rugby team, who have just left for a two-Test series against Fiji. His pedigree is notably noble – for starters as his father, Al Baxter, played 69 Tests for the Wallabies!
X/Twitter: @Peter_Fitz
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