Look, it wasn’t quite the Sydney suburban tennis comp’s answer to the famous beer ad: “Here we go again, Manly and Parra/Parra’s well ahead, but the gap starts to narra . . .”
But there was at least a touch of Roy Masters’ Fibros vs Silvertails early this month in the Sydney Badge Tennis comp, when the grizzled veterans of the Marrickville Tennis Club ventured north to take on their Roseville counterparts in the genteel heart of the North Shore.
John ShakespeareCredit:
But who is that strangely familiar figure turning out as one of the doubles players for Marrickville in the fourth rubber? Ah, yes, of course. It is none other than Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, slicing, dicing, cross-court splicing, and even sending down ten aces.
Despite the PM’s efforts, Roseville got up in his rubber 6-3, 6-4.
My mate Solar Steve was playing against him and reports: “Albo served well, particularly in the second set, but we still managed to push him to 10 deuce points before finally breaking him.”
Yes, the PM had six Federal Police watching, but it is still one of those “Only in Oz” things, yes? An American President, Japanese PM or African leader playing in suburban tennis comp? Inconceivable!
For the record, the PM pretty much grew up on those council-owned courts of the Marrickville club. His single mother enrolled him from a very young age, and he loved it from the first.
As to the match at Roseville, and the result, the PM tells me: “It was a good game played in great spirit. Roseville were fine hosts with beer, chicken and chips providing solace for the fact that the best team won on the day.”
Okay, okay, okay …
A quick point of order, if I may, Australian Olympic swimmer Cate Campbell.
I agree with you that the cry “Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!” did indeed have a break-out season during the 2000 Olympics, and that was a great launching pad for it going viral through sports stadiums around the world where Australians are playing.
Former Boomers star Damian Keogh.Credit: Peter Rae
Historically though, I note two things, the first of which is backed by former Boomer Damian Keogh. In Australia, unless someone can send me an angry email, I reckon the cry really got going with the Sydney Kings in the early 90s, when Damian and the whole Kings thing were a really big deal.
And waaaaaay back, to revisit a theme, the ancient origins of the “Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!” chant were to be found in the Cornish tin mines of two centuries ago, where, at mid-morning, the wives of the miners would bring freshly baked Cornish pasties called oggies and shout down the mines the news of their arrival. “Oggie, oggie, oggie!” they would bellow. “Oi, oi, oi!” the hungry miners would reply.
The original ‘ooh-ah’ man
And speaking of famous cries, while going back through my files on the stuff above I came across the origins of another famous Australian sporting call: “Ooh, ah, Glenn McGrath!”
See, back in 1988, the Irish soccer team swept into the European Championships for the first time, and the entire country was awash with patriotic fever.
Paul McGrath (centre) stands tall for Ireland against Holland in the 1988 Euros.Credit: Getty
The man the Irish gave most credit to was the Dublin-born Paul McGrath, a defender notable for his extraordinary skills, commitment, and the fact that he was the only black man in the team. Every time he got the ball in the games, the cry went up from the terraces: “Oooh, ah, Paul McGrath!”
Two years later, he starred for Ireland with a brave performance in the World Cup in Italy. On the day of the heroes’ return to Dublin, half a million people turned out to welcome them home.
But wait! Who is this coming through Irish customs, just an hour before the soccer team? Is it? It is! It is the just-released Nelson Mandela! And so, friends, all but instantly, the ecstatically joyous chant goes up for that greatest of all great men: “Oooh, ah, Paul McGrath’s Da!”
Roast Shark
Thank you, thank you all! With regard to TFF’s query last week as to which Australian sportspeople would be perfect to do our own version of the Tom Brady Roast, where comedians and former colleagues line ’em and knock ’em down, I was flooded with responses.
And, if you will be so kind, Jacky, to hand me the envelope, the winners are . . .
Greg Norman and Michael Clarke!
Roast with the most: Greg Norman.Credit: AP
Perfect, yes? Both were front-line sportspeople of their generation, and both provided enough material to keep comedians, columnists and narks on double shifts for years. Clarke, true, might be skittish, all things considered.
But Greg Norman, with a big audience, open microphone, cameras rolling and him the centre of attention? You couldn’t beat him off with a crowbar. The only downside with him would be that there would be so much material that it would have to be a five-part Netflix special rather than a one-off, three-hour show like Brady’s. But we’d watch the lot.
What They Said
Kyle Chalmers on the Gina Rinehart Vincent Namatjira portrait controversy: “Being on the pool deck at the national championships, it was definitely the talk of the swimming pool and everyone throwing their support behind our patron that makes everything possible for us. I think she just deserves to be praised and looked upon definitely a lot better than what the portraits have made her out to be. Without her sponsorship, we would actually have nothing.” Kyle? There might be bigger issues at play than the money Ms Rinehart gives to swimming. And for your edification, look up “the Streisand effect”.
Gina Rinehart is seen talking to swimmers Cate Campbell (second from left), Bronte Campbell and Kyle Chalmers during the 2018 Australian swimming trials.Credit: AAP
Adam Goodes on the controversy, and his portrait done by Namatjira, which won the Archibald Prize: “An artist’s view on the world is what it is. I have always loved the lens that Vincent has on our world.”
Ivan Cleary on son Nathan’s hamstring injury: “He’s pretty shattered actually, it’s very disappointing for him. Obviously I’m torn between his coach and his Dad right now.”
St Kilda coach Ross Lyon knows what to say to make the TFF round-up: “We’re like neutered dogs. You sit there and you can see stuff and … you can’t fix [it].”
Coach of last-placed Waratahs, Darren Coleman, after losing again: “Ridiculously, we’re still in the hunt for the play-offs.” Waiter! Cheika, please. Two-year contract. Get-out clause if he goes barking mad.
Gold Coast Titans CEO Steve Mitchell: “We need to deliver NRL results, but arguably what we have seen over the last five rounds, that was never going to happen in the blink of an eye. [Coach] Des [Hasler] will get results over the next couple of seasons once his DNA is embedded.” Yes, I know. But do NOT go there.
Eels prop Junior Paulo after his team lost to the Brisbane, their sixth loss of the last nine matches, on whether they can still win: “Our DNA’s still there. If we had lost because we weren’t trying then it will probably be more frustrating, but the fact that we’re right there, right to the end.”
Cate Campbell on the impact of Brisbane 2032: “I would also say so much of Australia’s folklore was born out of the Sydney Olympics. You think of the ‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie … Oi, Oi Oi.’ That was a result of the volunteers at the Sydney Olympics, and you now hear the cry booming out in sporting stadiums right across the world. It has become iconic.”
Rafael Nadal on whether he’ll play the French Open: “But if I have to say what’s my feeling and if my mind is closer one way or the other way, I’m going to say I will be in Roland Garros and try my best.”
ARL boss Peter V’landys.Credit: Janie Barrett
Peter V’landys on expansion: “Perth are absolutely on our hit list for expansion, and it’s sooner rather than later.”
English tearaway fast-bowler Jimmy Anderson, who has just announced his imminent retirement after two decades and 700-odd Test wickets, spoke in 2021 of his early days facing Australians like Matthew Hayden, Justin Langer and Ricky Ponting: “It was eye-opening, definitely. That was never the way I’d played cricket or seen cricket played either. It was this really super-confident way of like, ‘we are so much better than you and we are going to absolutely destroy you, no matter how old you are, no matter how many games you’ve played’. It was this real domineering kind of feeling you’d get when you walked on the field.”
Usman Khawaja on the reaction of his captain Pat Cummins when he wrote “All lives are equal” and “Freedom is a human right” on his training shoes in broad support of Palestine, which saw the tabloid media turn feral: “He was actually quite logical. He said, ‘I totally agree with everything you’ve said, written and done, I’ve got no issue whatsoever, so fine by me, mate. Freedom, equality are the same things I stand for.’ I wasn’t gaining anything out of it, if anything I was just putting myself out there to get smashed up more by the media and whoever else had an opinion. So he respected that, and it was really good to have that support.”
Team of the Week
Mathias Cormann. On the Offsiders sports program last Sunday, every time the name “Melbourne Storm” came up, the AI-generated subtitles came up with “Mathias Cormann”. Turns out the former WA Senator and now secretary-general of the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development is having a hell of a season!
The Sky Blues celebrate after Emma Tonegato scores first.Credit: Getty
The Sky Blues. Nailed game one of the women’s State of Origin series, setting the tone for the year.
Geelong. Sigh. My fault. Three weeks ago TFF wrote, “undefeated Geelong look the goods.” They haven’t won since.
Yokohama F. Marinos. The Harry Kewell-coached side take a 2-1 lead into the second leg of AFC Champions League final, whatever that is. (Incommmmmming!)
Arsenal and Manchester City. English Premier League title to be decided on Monday morning (AEST).
North Sydney Bears. Talk is they will be back as some sort of hybrid Perth team.
Manly Swimming Club. Successfully celebrated their centenary last Saturday night and raised $10K in a raffle, auction and donations to the club including an impromptu auction by iron man Kendrick Louis of a training session with himself.
